Day 59 (11/20/14) Come in "Clean" and leave "Dirty"

It’s Thursday, we get chocolate cake for dinner and I get a visit today ! Today should be a really good day. I still struggle sleeping in, my internal clock is up at 6:30am everyday. I can’t seem to stop it or sleep in. I know this may sound like I just want to sleep, but it’s more like I just want to sleep this time away. I guess it’s just the routine I’m on right now. I just get worried and panicky sometimes about it, because when I transfer and have to sit in receiving for 2-8 weeks (maybe longer), what am I going to do ? I am unable to sleep my days away. I am restless and hate being locked down and the sitting and laying around all day makes me crazy. I’ll just have to adjust and remind myself it’s only temporary. I think about requesting meds to sleep, but I just can’t do it. I see what meds do to some of these women and I don’t wan to lose who I am, so I just have to power through it. Right now I am powering through it. I have a pretty good routine going and I have a really good roommate. 

My bunkie is going through a lot right now and all the meds they put her on just makes her so tired and irritable. At night, she takes four different medications. I think medication is being over used in here. I believe medication is needed for certain mental illness, but it’s not the answer. My bunkie lost her Dad, she needs to grieve and process. This is so she can move on with her life, not just sleep the days away and not face it and deal with it. They really need a mental health clinic and services here. Individual counseling, group therapy, classes and treatment. We can’t keep doping these women up while they are in here and then release them back on the streets. Come in clean and leave “dirty”. I hear the stories so many have suffered really traumatic childhoods, or have had traumatic situations, such as rape or abuse which has led them to drugs and alcohol. Covering up and hiding from the pain and never dealing with it and the mental illness that goes untreated for years. Eventually, we have to attempt to help them, treat them, and break the cycle of crime. Currently, the treatment in jail is far from adequate. The mental health service offered is a psychiatrist that will prescribe meds and safety cells (24/7 lockdown). If you need to see the psych doctor, it takes a month to be seen. We need more efforts on treatment. Eventually these inmates have to be released. Clean or dirty.