Day 127 (1/27/15) Scared to death

I had orientation / PREA this morning. The presentation is done by three girls from “over the wall”. They work in the counseling office. One of the girls was sentenced to life in prison at the age of 16. I couldn’t believe it. She is now 30 years old. She is a very positive and beautiful young lady. She lives life to the fullest and makes the best of her situation everyday. It’s amazing an inspirational. She said there are drugs and alcohol “over the wall” if you want that or you can do positive things and better your life so you are a better person when you get home. She is never going home, but tries to better herself everyday. 

It was a beautiful day today. Warm and sunny. Spent the entire afternoon program outside. I ran into my friend Ellen, from County. She’s on the opposite program, but was coming back from medical. So, we walked together for about 30 minutes. It was really nice to catch up and see a familiar face. After dinner, they had 5 open beds in 501 they had to fill. They were asking for volunteers to move. I want to move, but I’m comfortable with my routine and roommate. So, we decided to stay. Plus, our crazy neighbor in 101 volunteered and we did not want to be in a room with her. She can’t get a long with one roommate, what makes her think she can get along with 7. My roommate and I both agree she will be back in 503. Once our crazy neighbor left, that opened up a bed in 101 and the housing officer was doing lots of moves. He moved a girl into 101. The second the cell door opened, she left her stuff and was refusing to go in. The CO came back and said “come on, just one night, get in there”. The woman was scared to death and almost in tears. Then the crazy jealous girl that was in the cell says “Hell no. She’s the one that got me moved”. The officer was like “Are you serious !? Fine, come with me”. The officer was so irritated. 100 cells. What are the odds that two women that had to be separated almost end up back together !? Our crazy neighbor was on another jealous rampage tonight. She is crazy. 

I got mail tonight, I couldn’t believe it. I was expecting anything so soon. I received two postcards. One from my Mother in law and a photo postcard from my Husband. I immediately started crying. They were tears of joy. That photo postcard meant the world to me. Now, I have a picture of my family and knowing they are ok, is huge to me. I love and miss them so much. It’s hard not being able to talk or see them. 

Day 124 (1/24/15) Her roommate locked her out

It’s the weekend here at Chowchilla. I don’t like the weekends too much. They are boring and you have to hope the weather is good so you can at least program. 

No fog today, but at 6:45am when we were waiting for chow, they had an emergency count. My roommate was heading over to her diabetic check when they made the entire facility return to their beds for a mandatory count. There was either an attempted escape or someone was missing. If it was serious, we could be on lockdown for days. I figured they just lost someone. An hour and a half later, we finally went to breakfast. On the walk back from breakfast, our neighbor announced if we wanted any sleep, we all needed to sign a petition so she can get her meds. Everyone is over this woman. Her roommate locked her out of the cell this morning, so the chaos begins. 

All they do all day is fight, yell, argue, and bicker. My roommate and I usually laugh about it. It’s a “live” daily soap opera. When the crazy lady left for her 8am meds, her roommate threw all her stuff out of the cell and slammed the door shut. World War 3 will be starting once she gets back. But, before she was back, a porter and the CO came over and put her stuff back and told her she would be moved today. The head housing officer will take care of it at 2pm once he got there. But, when she got back from meds, she refused to go into her cell and made a huge scene. She keeps trying to blame her roommate for all the trouble. But everyone, including the officers know what’s going on. She’s been here 3 weeks and has been moved 3 times. The officer yelled at her to sit down and moved her roommate to a different cell.  Our crazy neighbor is still our neighbor, but in the cell alone. We will see what happens. We didn’t get to program today because we were in a non-movement lockdown because of this mornings mandatory count. My roommate got a book and she is sharing it with me. We are both reading it. I am thankful, the books really pass the time. 

“Books make life and time more tolerable in some pretty intolerable times” 

Day 120 & 121 (1/20/15) "They can make your stay miserable"

We got a new neighbor today in cell 101. This woman is off her rocker. She got here 12/31 and didn’t last a week in 502. Then moved to 501, she couldn’t get along with 7 roommates, so she’s now in 503. She has cursed out a porter, verbally fought with our housing officer, and constantly fights with her roommate. Maya and I laugh listening to it, but are so thankful she’s not our roommate. She is constantly screaming “fuck the police”, “screw the cops”, while the others talking about taking a lock to her face, I am thankful for my roommate. We get along great. It can always be worse. “Live a day at a time and do the best that you can”. 

Day 121 (1/21/15)

Received two ducketts for today. Had testing in the morning and mental health in the afternoon. The testing is to determine what type of job you qualify for. There were women talking about intentionally doing poorly, so they can qualify for schooling and earn milestones to get 6 weeks off of their sentence. I guess you earn time off as well for re-taking the test and scoring higher. I want a good job so I’m not playing games. I’m doing my best. Mental health assessment took 10 minutes, got cleared, that’s another item off the list. After yard today, our crazy neighbor in 101 was getting loud and singing after count until dinner. The officer told her to keep it down and be quiet or she was going to be “capped” (lose your program time, among a couple other fun things). She got louder and started arguing and fighting with him. Not only did she get “capped”, he said “I’ll be in your room tonight”. During chow, he went into her cell and fucked her room up. She was quiet the rest of the night. Some of the correctional officers are decent and respectful, but others are jerks and intentionally look to mess with you. They can make your stay miserable, so it’s best you do what you have to do and get off the receiving yard. It’s not worth it to fight with them. Our main housing officer enjoys screwing with women. But, if you follow his few rules, he’s cool. But, if not, he enjoys “capping” your room. Welcome to prison. 

Day 113 & 114 (1/13/15) Things are about to change....

Day one of work today. Started the day off with inspection. Inspection is every Tuesday at 5:30am and it’s much stricter in this dorm. Our dorm passed and I passed my first inspection. Then off to work at 6:30am. We did laundry exchange over in 5A and 5B, the “High Power” aka "High Security" inmates. Then back to the laundry room to sort, wash, fold, and put away all the clothes. Then, load up all the carts for tomorrow mornings laundry exchange. It was a long day on my feet, but I loved being busy. The time goes by so much faster when you are busy working, rather than sitting around. I am very grateful for the opportunity to be working, even if it’s for a short time. Working in laundry, we get real coffee and get to listen to music. It was a great first day. After dinner, I had my visit with my Son, which was wonderful. Staying positive, being patient and never giving up eventually brings good things. 

Things are about to change...big time.

Day 114 (1/14/15) 10:38pm

Went to bed and was told I’m being transferred to Receiving (Chowchilla) tonight. I’m totally not prepared. It’s Wednesday ! Of all the Tuesday’s I got ready (5 to be exact) and I go tonight. Go figure. It’s too late to call my Husband and kids. They’re going to be confused tomorrow when I don’t call. I’m nervous, but I’ll be ok. The start of part two of this journey begins.....