Day 83 (12/14/14) Contraband

Up early today for inspection. I pass every week with flying colors, but this week I get busted for too many emails. I have kept every email I have received since I’ve been in here (178 to be exact). The rule is you can have no more than 20. In the last 12 weeks it has never been an issue, until today. So, I asked the deputy if I can just release them to my Husband, fill out an outgoing property slip and have him pick them up ? I need him to anyhow before I get transferred. She told me “no”. She said that they don’t release property anymore. That didn’t make sense to me, but I wasn’t going to argue. I still passed inspection and she was nice enough to let me go through the ones I wanted to keep, but had to throw the rest away. I was thankful for that because she could have just confiscated it all and tossed it all out. It was a little irritating and frustrating because really they are concerned about too many emails ? What about the drugs being smuggled in here ? The pills being hoarded, the medications being sold. The food being smuggled in from the chow hall. One lady brought back in 8 apples and 6 bags of carrots. She sold half of them. How about the newspaper hoarding ? The contraband and all the extras these women have and hide ? Isn’t that what inspection should be about ? Why in the world would they tell you when the inspection is going to be ? I don’t understand. What’s the point ? It seems like a waste of time. You’re giving the inmates time to hide their extras, food, meds, and contraband. They also call it a hygiene inspection. Basically to insure your cell is clean and you’re not hoarding. Yet, we have an old lady than has been here longer than I have (I have been in this housing unit for 5 weeks). She never leaves her cell, never showers, never exchanges laundry, never cleans, just sits or sleeps on her bed. She comes out for dinner and sometimes for lunch. Everyone avoids her like the plague, yet the deputies don’t do anything about it. She’s failed inspection the past two weeks and they just lock her down. She needs to be moved out of this unit. She’s taking a bed up than could be used for someone who actually wants to program and participate. The inconsistency of the deputies and the rules here, drive me crazy ! I’m hoping today is my last inspection. 

Had a visit this afternoon with my beautiful Daughter and my Dad. My Dad is visiting all the way from Florida for the holidays. t was good to see them both. The visit brightened my day, especially since the Chargers didn’t win today !  Another day down.   

Day 37 (10/29/14) Young, scared, remorseful...

Happy Hump Day ! I lay in my bed last night reading and enjoying my book. My roommate is doing her hair. The bottom tier is out for their evening time. My roommate feels the need to try and talk to the girls below. Well, they are not allowed upstairs. It’s very hard to hear through the thick cell doors here, so my roommate is screaming through the the door trying to talk to them to no avail. They can’t hear her, but I sure can. I ignore her, but now it’s going on way too long. I want to yell “Do you mind !? Shut the hell up please !” But, instead, I suggest maybe she should write a note and give it to them before we lockdown. It was my polite way of telling her she was driving me crazy, please be quiet. She got the hint and settled down. I read into the night until my eyes were tired. Once my head hit the pillow (inmate made pillow, there are no pillows issued in jail), I was asleep until breakfast. I love Wednesday's breakfast, because we get bananas after breakfast. I try to fall back asleep after breakfast, but my mind is racing with too many things. I finally settle my mind and fall back asleep. 

I wake up to the sound of cell doors opening. I am tired, but get up, you never know if this will be your only time out for the day. I get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth and head downstairs. It’s 7am, what a nice change. Deputy says she will spilt the morning and afternoon between both tiers. I am very happy, today's a good day. Just that little time out makes such a difference. I still long for and wish I could move housing units, just to be out of my cell a little longer and be able to physically see my family. It would make this stay a little easier, not only for me, but for my kids and Husband. The chances are slim, but I’m not giving up hope. 

During afternoon dayroom time, the deputy asked me to move downstairs to cell 9. I said “Really ? Do I have to ? I don’t want to move downstairs.” She was nice and made my bunkie move instead. The girl in 9 was her friend, so it worked out for her. Now, she didn’t have to bang and yell out the door to the bottom tier any longer. My new roommate was an older lady named Kat. Why they moved her upstairs, I’ll never know. She could barely make it up the stairs. I helped move her in and make her bed. She’s nice and very quiet. She lasted 30 minutes and then they moved her back downstairs. 

Roommate 6 came and went, roommate 7 just moved in. She seems normal and friendly. She has lots of books, like myself and enjoys reading. I see the book “Gone Girl” in her collection ( I love that book) and I know we will get along. My new roommate has been here since April and is waiting trial for gross vehicular manslaughter. Trial starts in February, because her public defender is busy on a murder trial now. She’s hoping to make a deal before February. She’s looking at prison time. She’s so young and scared. After dinner we talked for hours. She told me her story and what happened. 

She made me cry twice. I feel bad for her and if her friends had been wearing their seat belts, maybe they wouldn’t had been seriously injured or worse. She probably wouldn’t be here right now. She’s only 25 and is facing 4-12 years in prison. That’s so sad. I hope she gets a decent deal. She seems like a good person. She was in the Navy, she helps take care of her family. She has some great goals for when she gets out. About talking to young people and sharing her story. She definitely deserves a second chance and when she gets done with her sentence, I hope I get the opportunity to help her with that second chance in life. This system is so cruel and harsh. Where is the forgiveness, rehabilitation, and redemption. 

Day 25 (10/17/14) A better way...

We have a new deputy this morning and she splits the time. Hour and a half in the morning and the afternoon. Happy Friday ! Hope today is a good day. Morning was fine. Our deputy is very strict, but I like it. She keeps everyone in line, The deputies that let stuff slide, allow the girls to run loose and it’s chaotic. With this deputy, you can actually here the tv because everyone is behaving. 

Of course after lunch. one of the three cleaning spray bottles is missing. So, until it shows up, we won’t get any dayroom time this afternoon. Re-reading what I’ve been writing, sure does sound like junior high, almost elementary school. Anyway, that bottle better show up. I know it’s downstairs. Because, all three were there when the top tier went in. There is definitely cause for concern, because I guess they caught someone drinking the cleaning stuff ! What the heck is wrong with people ?! Well, obviously there was a mental issue there. But, I really wish these women would just follow the rules here. I am surrounded by women that just don’t care about anyone or themselves. No respect at all. That damn bottle better show up ! They have cameras here. It should show up on video. It’s upsetting to be lumped and generalized all together. We are all not the same. We all didn’t commit the same crime. Everyone has different circumstances and none of that is taken in to consideration There are those of us who will not become repeat offenders. There are those of us who do care and want to get back to our families. Just be a contributing member of society again.There are those who do have drug / alcohol problems or mental health issues that need help and treatment. The system pushes us through like cattle instead of looking at each individual and assessing them accordingly. Those of us who do care, want to accept our consequences and do what's right, should not be with those who are repeat offenders and do not want to change or get help. I have already seen and have had bunkmates that talk about how to manipulate the system. I have no doubt that those inmates will repeat and be back here. I believe in second chances, but for only those who really want it and will take advantage of it. The sentencing and punishment are the same. The system just generalizes all criminals together. Not looking at each individual and their circumstance. I’m not saying people should not be punished, but you can’t lump them all together and give them set sentences. The punishment should fit the crime and the person. Again, why put a tax payer in prison for a non-violent, first time offense ? You just cost the tax payers double. Loss of taxes being paid and having to pay for them to sit in prison ($62k / yr in CA). I am sure the money could be spent on improving schools, parks, streets. The prisons should be used for the violent crimes and repeat offenders. There needs to be more rehabilitation programs, work furlough, and work camps, etc for non-violent crimes. Punish them so they don’t commit the crime again. But don’t punish the tax payers and the families in the process. The District Attorney doesn’t care, they just want a conviction. When the sentence is given, the family is also serving the sentence. Again, they need to look at each circumstance before continuing to overcrowd the jails and prisons. It’s very traumatic for the families left behind. They are the ones that are ALWAYS overlooked. I think families should be taken into consideration too. When sentenced, a family is separated, children left without a parent, an income gone, financial hardship, a spouse left behind. It’s devastating. Yet again, putting the burden on the tax payers. The loss of income leads most families to public assistance. The cost to tax payers is alarming. As a tax payer, I want my taxes to go to the schools my kids attend, the streets I drive on, the libraries and parks I go to. Not housing more inmates and funding more welfare. Especially, when it can be prevented by other alternative punishments and programs. 

Spray battle was found ! We got our afternoon dayroom time ! This deputy is not to be messed with. You are crazy if you can think you can sneak something by her. We are not allowed to take any food, from any of our meals into our cells. At lunch today, one of the girls brought down her trash and emptied it and proceeded to fill up with everyone’s leftover lunch. Meat, cheese, bread fruit, milk, mayo, and cookies. The trash bag was completely full. She thinks she can take it all up like an empty trash bag. Well, today, the deputy came up and unlocked our doors individually after giving us one warning to not have food in our cells. The deputy caught her. She was busted. She got a huge write up. She had to move to the bottom tier. The sergeant came and talked to her and she is now on lockdown for a few days. She also lost her shot at becoming an inmate worker. Just not worth it at all. I am enjoying this deputy kicking ass and taking names, It’s nice, this housing unit needs a reality check and guess what ? She’s (deputy) back tomorrow ! 

Why ?

This machine. This no emotion video unit, is my only face to face communication with my Wife. Again, White collar, non-violent, first time criminal. This is what we go through 1-2 times a week. Complete with 3 second delay so they can monitor what you say. Enjoy your 30 minute visit. Well, 30 minutes is what you are supposed to get. My calculations say that your "video connection" starts late 70% of the time. That doesn't mean you get your 30 minutes as soon as it connects. Oh no. The clock starts precisely when your visit is supposed to be. So, you usually lose the valuable time you've been waiting for every visit. Of course, unless, you turn into the "squeaky wheel" or "thorn", which we DO. Once the time has gone past the 5 minute mark, we usually will go to the "clerks" at the check in and complain. One clerk out of the three is usually very helpful. The others, just let them doze back to sleep.  

My Wife will be strong when she talks to the Kids. But, when I speak to her one on one, you can see the sadness and depression pretty clear. Very hard to see and hear. She has lost a lot of weight so far. Even has lost a whole size in her "blues". The "Lockdown" diet as she calls it. You are so helpless. You can't get close to her and help. You can't give her a hug. She has been trying desperately to get her housing unit changed. But, no luck. She is in "transfer mode" NO CONTACT VISITS. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Not even for her children. I do not understand how that would hurt anything. What it is hurting, is her children. It is devastating to them. But, honestly, the Department of Corrections does not care about that. She is inmate 14755*** and is on lockdown 20-22 hours a day. 

She is not inmate 14755*** to us. She is Mom and Wife to us. We hope being treated like a caged animal, she stays Mom and Wife.