Monday, January 18, 2016

Day 224-230 5/4/15-5/10/15 "Mothers Day without You"

Day 224 5/4/15
Dukats went out last night and my name wasn't on the list to see committee this week, have to wait another week. Some of the women that I came on the bus with got a dukat and get to see committee this week. That was frustrating especially because half of them don't even want to go to camp, but I am keeping my head up and remind myself everything happens for a reason. Chris and I are at the rec yard at 8:30 am; at aerobics by 11 am, followed by the gym and sometimes back to the rec yard. Spend most of my day just exercising and getting ready for camp.

Went to education today to try and find some classes to take, first teacher we talked to told Chris and I we were "not stupid enough" to take any of his classes, did he really use the word "stupid"? Yes he did! I am very rarely offended but was so offended with his comment, I get it most of the women are not very educated, without a high school diploma or GED, but maybe try and change that and get them the basic education so they can function in society and stay out of prison.

Day 225 5/5/16
Got a job in the kitchen today, I work the breakfast shift, it requires me to get up early but I don't mind. For working in the kitchen you get the "extras" any food left over from breakfast we get, along with two lunches. I am not really interested in tons of food but will gladly take the extra fruit and any protein I can get. I am burning way more calories then they are feeding us.

Spent the day exercising again, out the door at 8:30 every morning, it is really nice to be out all day. I have a good routine going and I love having phone calls everyday. The days are going by much faster.

Went back to education today and talked to a different teacher, she was much more helpful she runs the college classes, I got signed up for two classes for the summer session, once completed I earn two weeks of milestones. You can earn up to 6 weeks of milestones a year, and each milestone is a week off of your sentence. I am trying to do everything I can to earn those 6 weeks. I have two weeks for the college classes and I earn another milestone for completing fire camp training. Three weeks down, three more to earn. They offer other self-help classes, most of them are six weeks long or longer and I won't be here long enough to complete them and you are unable to take them at the same time as camp. So it is a struggle to earn the extra milestones and be in fire camp.

Day 226 - 229 5/6/16-5/9/16
Have a regular routine going, working in the kitchen every morning, working out, going to aerobics, reading, watching TV in the afternoons, making my daily phone call, walking in the evenings, then off to bed to wake up and do it again. No one wants to be here but I am making the best of it. I am in a good place, happy, pushing through every day, looking forward to getting to camp. Camp is my final stop before I get home. It can't come fast enough.

Day 230 5/10/16
Happy Mother's Day! Wishing all the mothers a happy mothers day, especially the ones that are not with their children right now. Today is a hard day but I'm staying busy to keep me from dwelling on my situation. I know my kids are safe, loved, and well taken care of and as a mom that is all you can ask for when you are unable to be with them. Being away from my kids is hard, my son and daughter are my life, and being away from this just reminds me not to take things for granted. To enjoy the little things in life and don't miss out on the small stuff. All those times I was to tired, too busy, the not now later, you want to take them all back. I'll never be to tired or to busy ever again. As a mom you think back to the climbing all over you, the little toddler pulling your hair, hitting your leg for attention, the "mommy, mommy" I need juice, I want a snack, I'm hungry, the whining, the crying, the fights, the tantrums, it drives you crazy but when its gone you miss it. I would give anything to hear my kids fighting and arguing, the loud noise of them running in the house and playing. I miss tucking them in, watching them sleep, the hugs, the kisses, and the I love you's. I love being a mom and wouldn't trade it for anything, I can't wait to get home to them.

1 comment:

  1. Happy mother's day, that is really good and touchy post, loved reading it. Thanks for sharing it with us