Saturday, March 21, 2015

Day 78 (12/9/14) Co-Dependent Women

My roommate’s friend “Marky”, went home last Friday. She got an email from her last night telling her “hello”, that she was doing good, staying clean, and had not gone to see her dead beat boyfriend. My roommate was very happy and decided to call her today. When she called, she told her she was so glad she didn’t go see that jerk. Marky replies “He’s laying here right next to me”. My roommate was very disappointed. Why is it when men get locked up, the women in their lives stand by their man. But, when a woman gets locked up, in a lot of incidences, the man bails on her, leaving her high and dry. Marky was in here for one month on a probation violation. She had $500 in her bank account, her boyfriend put $100 of her money on her books and blew the other $400. He never sent her one email or answered any of her phone calls. He totally blew her off. But, when he was doing 22 months, she stayed loyal, kept money on his books, and emailed him regularly. What’s wrong with that guy ? Why do women go back after being treated so poorly ? There is a young girl in here pregnant with twins. She’s 19 years old, never been in trouble in her life. She’s in here because of the crimes her boyfriend committed. She was asleep in her boyfriend’s car when he got arrested for burglary, home invasion, and multiple car break ins. She got arrested and charged as an accomplice. She is fighting the charges because she did not commit any of the crimes. Her only crime was her choice in a boyfriend. She received an email from the boyfriend’s Mother, telling her she needs to take part of the rap so her Son does not have to do 10 years. Are you kidding me ? This girl just got smart. She’s done with her boyfriend, got her case severed and will be out of here in two months. She’ll be home to have her babies. She has a good family who supports her. She can’t wait to get home, get a job, and get on with her life. I believe she will make it and she won’t be back. It’s too bad that there aren’t more women like her. Strong and with good family support. I’ve seen too many women get left behind with nothing by their “Old Man” and then just go back to them. Most of them are in here because of the men in their lives. It’s like my old roommate who’s husband had not emailed her, sent her money, or answered her calls in the 8 months she’s been in here. She didn’t know if she wanted to divorce him or maybe try and wake it work. I think they need classes and programs designed to help women be strong and independent, find an inner strength to be successful on their own without a man in their lives. I think if the system could help them more upon release, they would have more options than going back to their “Old Man”. It’s hard to see and hear. Makes me that more thankful for my wonderful Husband who supports, loves, and adores me. I am so very lucky. My Husband always told me, it’s not easy to be a good man, but life isn’t easy. The easy road isn’t always the correct road. You find the love of your life, you treat her like a Queen and you give her all of you. I am very grateful for him. 

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