Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Day 81 (12/12/14) "Not much shocks me anymore"

Went to court today. This trips not as enjoyable as the last bus ride. I had AM court and had to leave at 4:40am. I had breakfast, got ready, and walked to transportation. There were 9 women in the holding cell, 3 were sleeping, and 5 were talking away. There were 3 conversations going on. Super loud, it was a freaking hen fest in there. Then some of them were singing (not very well). I couldn’t get out of there or away from them fast enough. We got on the bus, it was packed, and I couldn’t hear the radio. Once we got to the courthouse, it was off to the court holding cell.  There was only 5 of us now, but we got the nasty, dirty girl who was kicking drugs. She asked if she could lean on me to sleep. My answer in my head was “Hell no ! Are you kidding me !? Did you really just ask me that !?” I respond with “No, you can use the wall right there to lean on”, trying to be as nice as possible. Another girl told her she could lay down on the floor. I didn’t care what the hell she did, as long as it was away from me. She just wreaked of sweat, pee, and shit. Coming down from heroin. All the poison coming out of her body. 
After sitting in the holding cell for 2 hours listening to these women’s stories and cases was interesting, sad, and made me angry. I mean, wrong place, wrong time, selling themselves to feed the family, hooked on drugs, bad boyfriend. I’ve seen so much in the past 81 days, it’s crazy. Not much shocks me anymore. I’ve become, as my Husband says, immune to the toughest times, the toughest situations, and tough people. He worries that I will be a changed person. I tell him no way, but he says how can I not be. It will take time to “come back” to my family, but I will. 
I saw the judge and got done in time to make it on the 11am bus and was back to the housing unit. Now, it’s time to prepare and get ready to be transferred to receiving. Sure hope it’s soon. 

It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.        

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