Day 214-218 4/24-4/28 100 Days in Prison

Day 214 Friday 4/24/14
It's been officially 100 days in prison and I have survived so far. The hardest part is over, now I just need to get on that bus to CIW. Going over the wall and waiting to trans-pac is annoying, you can't settle in or get a routine going because you are leaving any day. You are a temporary resident, me moving into this room for my roommates is like having a guest you don't know crash on your couch for 1-2 weeks. Then I leave and the next guest off the street moves in. I can imagine it gets very old fast for the women that live here. I'm just a guest in their house and I understand the disruption so I am respectful of that and I think they appreciate it. I have so much respect for these women, I'm going home in a few months, serving only 13 to 15 months; these women have many years to go and some may never leave. When ever I get down I have to remind myself it can always be worse. I understand I am one of the "lucky ones", I can't imagine not having an out date and not knowing if I'll ever get one. To watch some of these women make the most of their situation is very inspiring, on the outside we take so much for granted. I took so much for granted, the loss of your freedom makes you appreciate life.

I am very thankful for my room and the roommates I have on D-Yard. Some women are not so lucky, not all the women here make the most of their time, some are miserable, others are very mean, and some are just down right crazy. The poor lady across the way got in a room with two lifers who don't allow the other roommates to be in their room at certain times (the majority of the day) they can't use the restroom at certain times, no laying on your bed except for sleeping at night, no naps, its insane. There are other rooms you are required to take 3-4 showers a day, scrub the brick walls everyday, some over the top stuff, not all rooms are so crazy but some of the stories they tell on A-yard are true. The other strange thing I had to get use to was the living in the dark, they cover the windows and never turn on the lights. They only turn the lights on during mandatory count, this is the majority of all the rooms. I finally realized that its so the officers can't see in the room when they walk by and do their checks. D-Yard is just strange, I can't wait to get out of here. I have grown on my new roommates, especially Blue who was determined to get me a courtesy bed move this weekend but she has now reconsidered. I know she won't admit but I think she is starting to like me.

Day 215 Saturday 4/25/14
I have been enjoying my first few days, being able to be outside most of the day is amazing. I have made friends with Chris my new workout partner, she came over the wall with me and lives in my housing unit, so we eat together, workout, and hang out during the day. She is going to Fire Camp as well, she is from San Diego, is 39 and a mom of two just like myself so we hit it off right away.

We had our Saturday and Sunday all planned out, a weekend outside all day and go figure it rains and to top it off they are short staffed. Back to modified program, I finally get "over the wall" and I am not only stuck inside but I have to be in my room all day. I had a morning phone call and so did Chris after our phone calls to our family we both sat in the day room together and talked for hours, the officer didn't even care he let us stay out there until shift change. It ended up being a nice Saturday and the time went by quick. Chris and I have a lot in common and its really nice to meet someone with the same goals and work ethic. I am thankful we met and are going to camp together.

Day 216 Sunday 4/26/14
The rain has passed, it was beautiful outside, and I enjoyed the sun all day. After I returned from evening yard they were passing out dukats and I got my trans-packing dukat! Super excited I am off to R&R (receiving and release) tomorrow to pack my belongings and will be heading to CIW on Wednesday.

Day 217 Monday 4/27/14
I was up early, off to breakfast and back to my room to pack. I was at R&R by 8am with all my belongings. There were a lot of us, not only were they trans-packing for tomorrows bus to Folsom, our bus to CIW on Wednesday, they were busy with property boxes as well. It took a few hours to get seen and packed but it feels good to know I am two days from leaving.

Day 218 Tuesday 4/28/14
I said goodbye to Sam this morning at breakfast as she is on her way to Folsom today. I am thankful for the extra week we got to spend together and that I got to actually say good-bye this time. I enjoyed the rest of my day working out with Chris, getting ready for Fire Camp. I got my dukat, I'm officially leaving tomorrow morning at 4am, I am so ready!

Day 212 4/22/15 D-Yard

Day 212  4/22/15
I went "over the wall" last night, I am no longer in receiving. I left A-Yard (receiving) and am now on D-Yard. D-Yard is where they send the overflow, due to the overcrowding they need beds in receiving so they move us out of receiving and into overflow while we wait for transportation. You usually go over the wall to over flow when you are scheduled for the next bus to CIW, Folsom, or McFarland. The standard wait in overflow can be 1 to 2 weeks, I heard others have waited 3-6 weeks (usually due to medical holds or other issues). I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am out of here in a week.

D-Yard is where they house the long timers, most of the women have 15 years or more, many have life, including L-WOP's (Life without parole). I met my roommates, two are serving life sentences, one has 10 months left on her 15 year sentence, two are doing 10 years and one with 5 years left on her 8 year sentence. The one with only 8 is here because she got caught at CIW with cell phones and picked up new charges that gave her an additional 2 years. Then there is Bee and she is in overflow waiting to go Folsom. I make 8 and this is a 7 person room, Blue my bunkie does not like to have a bunkie she is a lifer and this is her room, she has been down over 20 years so what she says goes or you move out. They are not really happy I have moved in but they are not mean, well except for Tiny she totally hates me and is seriously crazy, she seems to fight with everyone in the room so I am not taking it personal.

When you are on A-Yard you hear all these crazy stories about when you go over the wall there are lifers that will make you pay rent, scrub the bricks, not allow you in your room at certain times, all kinds of stuff, some of it is true but as Blue went over the room rules I got assigned a pretty normal room, the rules are basic respectful rules. I am super clean so that is easy, I'm quite, keep to myself and Blue hates "couch potatoes" no problem there because I hate sitting around and being stuck inside. I will be outside every minute I get. The best part of being on D-yard is the yard opens at 9 am and I can stay out all day long.

Receiving is a dump, because it is not permanent housing, so it is not taken care of and you are not allowed any amenities. On D-yard the rooms are much nicer, more kept up and cleaner. We have outlets, light switches (we can control our own lights), the mattresses are double the size, and we have pillows.My roommates have TV's and radios, we also have a table and chair in our room, the floors have epoxy on them rather than hard cold concrete. We get to use the phone everyday, we can do are own laundry once a week and my favorite we get to go outside in the evenings after dinner.

There are 4 housing units on D-yard each houses 256 women a total of 1024 of us on D-yard, we are not separated or segregated by security levels all levels are housed together, low level ones are housed with high level fours. They open the yard around 9 or 10 am you can go outside or be in the day room (day room has tables, TV's, benches, and phones). A majority of the women go to school or work during the day, I was actually surprised by how many don't work or go to school (it is due to their security level). The yard closes at 3:30 and we all lock down for mandatory count at 4 pm, then we have dinner At dinner they don't rush you out of the chow hall in under 15 minutes, you can stay and eat. The food is the same but you get larger portions (but I actually  think the trays are just bigger). Then the day room opens back up around 6-6:30 pm and the yard opens from 7-8:30 pm.

First things first we got new clothes, no more oranges. I never want to wear orange again. Over the wall you are in blues, light blue shirts, jean pants, blue sweatshirts and state issued tennis shoes. They are much nicer and more comfortable than the oranges in receiving. You can also order and wear your own clothes, shorts, t-shirts, sweat pants.

I spent my first day outside with a couple girls I met that came over the wall with me yesterday, that live in my housing unit. I got a phone call into my family, that call was incredible I had only been dying to make it for over a month! Then I spent the evening walking and talking with my friend Sam.

The days definitely go by a little faster over the wall. Now I am just waiting for that trans-packing dukat, (my notice that I am on the next bus out of here). I have been endorsed to Fire Camp so I will be going to CIW (California Institution for Women in Corona CA) for training.

Days 206-211 4/16/15-4/21/15 "Baby Case" & "Over the Wall"

Day 206 4/16/15

No one left today, but we did receive some new bodies and unfortunately one of the women that arrived was a "baby case" (Child Endangerment / Child Abuse) and before she even moved into her assigned room she got into a fight and had to be moved to unit 503 (the two man cells). This woman has a long road ahead of her if they already know she's a baby case. They are going to make her life miserable, and unlike the men’s prisons, the women don’t have the option to PC up (protective custody). Your only option is to go to Ad Seg. (Administrative Segregation) and do your time in the dungeon. That means no programming, one hour outside a day in a cage (like an animal), all meals in your cell, a shower every other day (and if you elect to shower they raid your cell while you shower so most skip the showers and choose to bird bath instead) and 23 hours of lockdown. Solitary confinement, it’s a horrific way to do your time. She’s better off taking her chances in general population, either way she has a long road ahead of her.

Day 207 4/17/15

Even though the new woman with the "baby case" was moved to 503 yesterday and she got attacked again coming back from breakfast. Evil was in the med line, saw her walking back from breakfast and ran up on her. They started fighting in the middle of the yard. Two fights in less than 24 hours of your arrival, Welcome to Prison!

Today is a big day for handing out muumuu’s to go over the wall, as they are handing them out I realize there are none coming to room 4. I am upset and disappointed again. I really wanted to be out of here before my husband’s birthday next week so I could call him, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen. As I am trying to be strong and pull myself together to push through another weekend, it hits me like a ton of bricks my friend Sam is leaving, the one person I met here that I trust, that I consider a friend, the only one I could see myself talking to and seeing when we are out of here is leaving. I am devastated. I am so happy for her but I am a wreck. Who am I going to have breakfast with every morning, or share books with, or talk to during evening program, my friend is gone! It was so hard to see her go, we said good-bye through the window, I could hardly talk as I was fighting back the tears. Wishing Sam the best!

Day 208 4/18/15

The full moon was out tonight, and I guess it makes the women here crazier than they normally are. We had a fight during dinner, another after dinner outside the chow hall and a third one in front of our unit.

Day 210 4/20/15

I’m still waiting!!! This week’s lesson is Patience. You would think I would have learned some by now, but no I have not.

“Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes like meaningful.”

Day 211 4/21/15

Happy Birthday to my incredible husband, who has held our family together during this turbulent time in our lives; he is an amazing man, super dad, and wonderful husband. His love and support has kept me strong over the last 211 days, Happy Birthday to my best friend and soul mate!

Today was the day, they handed out 22 muumuus and I got one of them! I can’t believe it, the day I have been waiting for has arrived, what a birthday present for my husband, its been a long 97 days in receiving and it’s finally over.

They handed out muumuus late so we are not going over the wall until after dinner. My roommates drive me crazy sometimes, but they are all good women and I will miss them. I’m a little nervous but my excitement and happiness to be one step closer is much more overpowering. I’m packed, my roommates helped me, and I’m off. We say our goodbyes and I walk across A-Yard (receiving) for the very last time. It’s a process as we haul all our stuff to D-Yard, we have to wait for the officers to take role, we all have to go through the metal detectors, then the long walk across the prison to go through a final metal detector and get out housing unit. By the time we get to D-yard and our housing units it’s almost 8:30pm.

As I am walking to my housing unit the inmates are outside for evening and I am greeted with a big hug and huge smile from my friend Sam. I am so happy to see her. I get my room assignment; meet my new roommates, who are not happy they now have an 8^th person in their room, I unpack quickly and I’m off to bed, it is the start of the next part of my journey.

Days 199-205 4/9/15-4/15/15 "Tax Day"

Day 199 4/9/15

A big bus from LA arrived today, so lots of movement. They sent 25 women over the wall (move from the receiving yard to overflow to wait for transportation or committee). They have to move women to overflow to open up the beds for the new arrivals. I was not one of the 25 women and as I walk the yard its depressing as I see all these new faces and very few familiar ones.

Day 200 4/10/15

It’s been 200 days of waiting! Waiting to be transferred from county jail to prison, waiting to leave reception and “go over the wall”, then I’ll wait for transportation, and then again wait to see committee. This is such a long slow process. I am tired of waiting.

Day 203 4/13/15

Still Waiting!

Day 204 4/14/15

90 days officially in receiving. I’m over it and so ready to go. There are days I feel like I am losing my mind. I can’t wait to get out of here.

Day 205 4/15/15

Tax Day! As you pay your taxes know a big portion of your hard earned tax dollars help to pay for the mass incarceration rate and prison boom in America. With 2.2 million Americans incarcerated its costing tax payers a lot. On average it costs $50,000 a year per inmate in the state of California. This is a lot of money that could be spent to better use like education, health care, roads, libraries, public parks & beaches. This is money that could be spent on resources for the poor, addicted, and mentally ill. It’s astounding with less than 5 percent of the world’s population we hold nearly 25 percent of its prisoners. Don’t let the rehabilitation fool you, our criminal justice system is a long way away from actually rehabilitating inmates and helping them to not re-offend. Currently it’s just a lot of talk about reform and rehabilitation and very little action. As you mail in that check to Uncle Sam today take a minute and think about, is our government spending your hard earned tax dollars wisely?

Days 194-198 (4/4/15-4/8/15) Rule #12 "I Didn't See Anything"

Day 194 and 195 4/4/15 - 4/5/15

Another weekend to power through so I can get to Monday and hope I get out of here. We got our program time in this morning, but C and D were not so lucky, 5 minutes into the start of their program the alarm is going off. There was a fight in 501. They haul out the girls in handcuffs and resume back to normal program. Then Mala whose girlfriend Evil (who just moved in next door) is outside our window, Mala and her girlfriend are now on opposite program times so Mala is freaking out in a jealous rage. She is a total psycho and a real catch; rule #1: Don’t get a girlfriend! After she finished her crazy tirade outside our window she returns to the yard and gets into a fight. These two are going at, and as the cops get there they let them fight giving them a ton of chances to stop but they don’t so out comes the pepper spray. That puts an end to the fight and everyone’s program time. Only 30 minutes in and the yard is recalled (recall-have to go back into our rooms).

Sunday is Easter so to get in the spirit we made Easter baskets out of lunch boxes, and dyed Easter eggs using soap and Kool-aide. I was prepared to stay in all day because of the holiday, I figured we would be on first watch status (1st watch is the shift from 10pm-5am, with only one officer on duty), but I was pleasantly surprised with our 3 hours of yard time today.

Day 196 4/6/15

Monday the start of a new week, please let this be my week! I told myself I wasn’t going to think about it, but that is easier said than done. I had an appointment today, that was a nice escape but when I got back, I walked in to my roommates talking about rolling Nay Nay out of our room. (Rolling Out-you are either told to move out of the room or they pack your shit and throw it out of the room, basically you are looking for a new place to sleep) My roommates have not been getting along with her lately and the tension has been building up. I just stay out of it, because it’s too much drama. I just want to get off this yard. Jessie and Lizy decided to switch beds to make Nay Nay mad; this is only going to bring more tension to our room. We will see how this turns out.

Day 197 4/7/15

Well I am still here! Just waiting! My friend Helen from San Diego finally left today, after 17 weeks and 118 days in receiving she is finally on her way!

Day 198 4/8/15

The tension in the room finally erupted. I’ve been a little depressed lately so I’ve been really quiet and to myself just trying to patiently get through the waiting. I don’t really know all the details of what is going on except that some of my roommates were talking about Nay Nay at breakfast and she found out or overheard them. So when we all returned from breakfast she decided to call them out. The screaming match started, it was so lame I just ignored them and got my laundry ready. I am days from leaving and I don’t have time for this BS. Then it escalated from yelling at each other to getting physical. First it was Nay Nay and Lizy that fought. Then more screaming and arguing and next up were Nay Nay and Jessie started to go at it. Nay Nay is on the ground I think she blacked out for a minute, there is so much commotion going on the porters come down the hall to see what was going on. With the porters there, I got them to open the door and as soon as that door clicked open I grabbed my laundry and got out of there and I didn’t look back. They can fight it out all they want, but I want off this yard, and my priorities are getting home to my family. I’m not picking up new charges, I’m not going to be a witness (Rule #12 “I didn’t see anything”), and I am not getting a 115 because these girls cannot get along. (115-is a write-up and depending on the offense you can lose your good time credits). Smiley is still in receiving because of a big fight in her room she’s been on this yard for 10 months.

I went outside and stayed outside as long as I could. I was gone a good forty minutes before I headed back to my unit with my laundry. When I got back to my housing unit, ISU (Investigations Service Unit) was there raiding room 7 in our hall (H-Bang’s new room). The drug dogs were there, they tore that room up (mattress and all). We waited in the day room until they were done with the raid. They didn’t find anything, they talked to everyone is room 7 and then left. It is said that someone saw H-Bang crush up a Tylenol with codeine and sniff it. Someone snitched about drugs in that room and that is what brought on the raid. Once I got back to my own room the fighting was done and over with. We will see how long that will last.  

Day 189 -193 3/30/15- 4/3/15 The Waiting Game, Will I ever get out of receiving?

Day 189 3/30/15

Start of a new week, this is week 3; I should be out of receiving this week. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Happy Birthday to Whitney! Today is our roommate’s birthday, we made her a card and a cheesecake (graham crackers, sugar, creamer, and sierra mist) you would be surprised what you can do and make with creamer. After dinner we played some old fashioned birthday games. We made her day as she has not heard from her family and it’s been 5 weeks here. It’s a small percentage of women who have the love and support of family and friends while incarcerated. I know I am very fortunate and I am very grateful for my family.

Day 190 3/31/15

Today is a holiday, Cesar Chavez day, surprisingly we are fully staffed today, must be the  extra holiday/overtime pay the officers get that they decided to show up for work for once.

Day 191 4/1/15

Today is April fool’s day, you can’t ever believe what anyone in orange says around here, but you really can’t believe them today. Some of the porters thought it would be funny to hand out muumuus as a joke. I didn’t find the joke funny at all; women are stuck in receiving for 3-6 months just dying to get off this yard. The entire process of waiting for a muumuu is torture; you get your hopes up everyday just to be disappointed again and again. The odds are never in your favor, there are 3-10 muumuus given out with 256 women in the unit, it’s like the lottery you want to win so badly but you are more likely to be struck by lightning than winning. Women wait weeks for a muumuu, 6, 7, 8 weeks after seeing their counselor and everyday they wait and hope it’s their turn to leave just to be let down day after day. It’s cruel and unusual punishment; this whole process is pure torture. We all eventually leave receiving the question is when!?!

My friend Piggy from San Diego left today, she's been here 112 days, she’s finally off to Folsom.

Day 192 4/2/15

Officially 3 weeks since I saw my counselor, I was really hoping today was my day to go, but I’m still here. Another day of disappointment. I just want to be able to see and talk to my family, I want to be productive with my time, receiving sucks and they leave us in limbo for way to long. Today was bittersweet as Adrie left today, she had been in receiving for 113 days (7 weeks after she saw her counselor) she needed to go, she deserved to go, but I will miss her as she was my fire camp workout partner. We pushed each other; vented to each other, supported each other and now she’s gone. I hope to see her soon; maybe we will end up at the same camp.

Day 193 4/3/15

Today was a rough day; I expected to be out of receiving by now. I tried not to get my hopes up to high, but it’s hard not to. It’s hard being so far away, with no phone contact, no visits with my family for almost three months now. I’m so ready to go, and one of the girls I came up here with from San Diego just saw her counselor on Monday March 30th and left for fire camp yesterday. What an unbelievable painfully slow process this is. I'm still waiting!

Day 185-186 (3/26-3/27/2015) Riot in the Chow Hall

Day 185 3/26/15

It’s been two weeks since I saw my counselor and I’m still here, trying not to get discouraged but it’s been 10 weeks and 71 days in receiving and I’m ready to go. On the bright side it was so quiet all day in our room now that H-Bang is gone. Silence is Golden!

The silence didn’t last too long, as we were getting ready for dinner, the inmates from housing unit 501 are starting to come out of the chow hall when the alarm goes off. We notice the officers running so it’s a fight and a big one, because next thing I know they have 8 women handcuffed and sitting in the grass outside the chow hall. There are cops everywhere including one with a huge beanbag gun. You don’t want to be shot with the bean bags because not only will you be “shot” you will be charged $75 for the replacement of each bean bag that they shot at you. The officers have moved the women that were outside of the chow hall when the alarm went off to the side as they are giving medical care to the 8 handcuffed women due to the pepper spray that was used to stop the fight.As they tend to the 8 the alarm goes off again and they going running in and bring out two more women in handcuffs. They now empty out the entire chow hall and have all the women sitting outside for crowd control.  After about 30 minutes the officers escort everyone back to their unit 10-15 women at a time. Once everyone is back in their housing unit the officer with the gun and her partner leave our yard. The sergeant is now working on getting all the officers statements and making sure everyone is finished being seen at medical. They release one of the ladies back to her housing unit as they are finishing up processing this mess, the alarm goes off again the cops go running to 501 it’s another fight. They bring out two girls, one is the girl they just let go back to her unit. The Officers lock up the two of them in the cages in the sergeant’s office while they move the 8 from the chow hall riot to R&R (receiving and release) to finish processing the incident. All 8 women are being charged with inciting a riot. The 8 are looking at possible additional time and they will definitely be doing some time in Ad Seg. (Administrative Segregation Unit). Finally over two hours later they release unit 503 for dinner. By the time they release us for dinner its 8:15pm, at dinner they had double the cops and they gave us two minutes to eat, they wanted us in and out quickly.

There were about 20 people fighting in the chow hall brawl, but most of them got away. The cops only arrested 8 and out of the 8 only 5 went to Ad Seg. It was no surprise that Peaches and Taya were two of the 5. The rumors on the yard started immediately everyone wanted to know how and why the fight started. Some said it was a race riot, Blacks vs. Mexicans, others said it was just a big fight. Ducey one of the 8 that got arrested said it was not racial that is had to do with some issue earlier in the day over in 501.

Story one was a window got broken earlier in the day and the entire room got shot gunned (Shot Gun: when the cops move all 8 women out of the room to new rooms and/or housing units) and the fight was about the broken window. Story two was that a Mexican girl was in Ad Seg. with Peaches and Ducey and she didn’t get along with them and when she got released from Ad Seg. she put the word out to go after them and that “hit” is what got the fight going. Story three was the fight was over a girlfriend (90% of all fights are over girlfriends) and final story was the fight was over some mascara.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting."

Day 186 3/27/15

After the “riot” (in prison a fight involving 3 or more people is no longer a fight it is a riot) last night we woke up to extra security and a full staff for breakfast. Everyone got to and from breakfast without incident, but it didn’t last long as a fight broke out this morning in B hall. Two girls got into an argument and one cupped (Cupped-when an inmate uses their state issued cup and strikes another inmate in the face or head) the other and it was so bad she had to be taken in the ambulance. The fight delayed our program time (Program- the time given to inmates daily outside of their cell) but at least we got to program as C and D ( In receiving we are split up by the halls we live in A&B and C&D) did not get to program today due to last nights incident.

After dinner 14 plus officers with gloves, bags, and metal detectors head towards 501, it was a huge raid on the entire housing unit. When they were done they headed into our housing unit but only raided C and D hall. It’s been an insane week, never a dull moment in Chowchilla!

Days 180-184 (3/21/15) "I Swear on West Side Hoover"

Day 180 (3/21/15)

Today should be moving day for Missy, but she only wants to move across the hall to room 5 and guess what ? They don’t want her. That's not surprising she annoys us and I am sure she has annoyed them as well. I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want “girlfriends”, a couple living in my room especially one who just got the entire room in trouble. Now she’s all upset and wants us to feel sorry for her, the only thing we want is her to move out. I don’t care where you go, just leave. Normally we would throw her out, but the officer on duty today will "shotgun" (move us all out) the entire room so we are stuck.

Everyone is disappointed that Missy is still here but we have other problems now as everyone is napping Peaches is at our window calling out H-Bang they are arguing and fighting through the window. Peaches and Ducey just got out of Ad. Seg on Thursday and now that they are back on A-Yard they are talking shit to H-Bang, wanting to know why she hasn’t got Flo yet, I guess Flo is suppose to catch H-Bang’s fade per Astro’s order. H-Bang has been sending kites over the wall saying she’s going to take care of Flo but she hasn’t and has no intention to do so. Peaches is telling H-Bang to roll up in room 28 and take care of it or Peaches is going to run it with H-Bang, all the commotion wakes everyone up. Peaches eventually leaves but I know its not over.

Our room is full of problems and it's not over I am sound asleep when I am awoken by NayNay freaking out. She is packing up all her belongings and slamming doors, lockers and yelling. I guess Missy and Jessie were at it again in the window acting childish and playing games with the girls across the hall and NayNay wasn’t feeling good and was trying to sleep, but these two couldn’t keep it down. I wake up, its dark and everyone seems to be asleep and is not saying anything. Its getting loud as NayNay is in crazy mode. She’s so loud the officer comes down to see whats going on. NayNay tells him she wants out of this room, she told him to roll her out now ! He is on 1st watch so not much he can do. He calms her down and lets her know he put a request into the sergeant and hopefully she can be moved in the morning. NayNay stopped slamming things around, but she ran her mouth yelling at Jessie and Missy for pretending to be a sleep and that they are "fucked up bitches" with no room courtesy for others and she wants to whip their ass. This went on for a while. I finally was able to fall back asleep, but with all the fights and arguing, I really need out of here. I am hoping this is my week.

Day 182 (3/23/15)

It’s Monday morning, the start of a new week. I am ready to get the week going. My routine is that I get up, exercise, and take a shower before breakfast. Today while I am in the shower, I hear all this commotion going on. Missy and Jessie are freaking out like its the end of the world. Jessie is about to start crying and Missy is yelling about hating stupid people and I keep peaking my head out to see if there's a fight going on. I thought maybe NayNay got mad and broke a window, but I see they are all in tact and no one is physically fighting so, I have no idea what the hell is going on. I get out of the shower and as I am getting dressed NayNay comes up to me and says “We have to move” I reply with “What!?! Why?” “They broke our window”. I come out and see that the window facing the yard is broken. A rock was thrown and it shattered the window. All I can ask is what the hell is going on? It was Ducey and Peaches coming back from breakfast, Ducey throws a rock at our window and shatters it. It's still intact but has to be replaced. We let our housing office know and the sergeant comes to take a look and calls in the repair. We are lucky it's Monday and that they don’t have enough beds to move our entire room, so it's getting fixed today and no one has to move. Not that I wouldn’t mind moving at this point. H-Bang sneaks out of our housing unit and waits for Ducey. As Ducey is walking back to her housing unit from medical, H-Bang walks up to her and she swings, and of course misses. H-Bang is twice Ducey’s size but is slow and Ducey is quick and I have come to the conclusion that H-Bang can’t really fight !  She may be BIG, but she can’t fight. The two of them go at, it goes to the ground and the cops finally walk up and its over. They get handcuffed, taken to the sergeants office, issued 115’s and get sent back to their housing units. This war is just beginning. We were just told at our window that "If you don’t want blood in your room we better roll her out", her being H-Bang. This is now starting to get out of hand and I don’t want any part of it. Can I please get off this yard this week.

Day 183 (3/24/15)

No rocks today, instead we start our morning off with a fight. On our way to breakfast, we are walking out of our housing unit and here comes Peaches. She was waiting for H-bang, she walks around the corner and right up to H-Bang and she punches her in the face. They start fighting and the next thing we know, H-Bang's shirt comes off and she’s not wearing a bra, so she is standing there topless. They stop fighting and Peaches walks away and gets down with the rest of us as the alarm is going off. As the cops come up, H-Bang is standing there, boobs hanging out hollering about “lets go, come on, I swear on West Side Hoover” It was a sight! The cops hand H-Bang her shirt, handcuff her and Peaches and off to the sergeants office they go. We continued to breakfast and all anyone could talk about was the boobs, “it was like a photo out of National Geographic”. We get back to our room after breakfast and Missy is already trying to move her girlfriend into H-Bang’s bed assuming another fight would get her moved out. I am super irritated, but I don’t engage because I’ll just get angry and I’ll deal with it only if H-Bang doesn’t come back. I am sure she will be back and she was she got another 115 (that makes 3) and she would have only been moved if they called "enemies" on each other. I guess H-Bang hit Peaches in the face with her cup and this fight is still not over. H-Bang is running scared now, she did not go outside to program at all today and on the way to dinner she wore a bra and brought her "lock in the sock" with her to dinner. In case they came at her again, she's ready. This is getting ridiculous, I have to ask myself sometimes is this real?

Day 184 (3/25/15)

The drama never ends, I got woken up in the middle of the night to a fight. I guess Smiley "took off" on H-Bang, then H-Bang pushed Smiley to the ground and she fell into the locker , then H-Bang hit Jessie in the head with a cup. I woke up after Jessie got hit and was yelling. NayNay jumped up and was in the middle separating H-Bang and Smiley. Next thing I know, H-Bangs hollering her normal fight routine “On my mama, West Side Hoover, I’ll take you all on” and starts swinging around her "lock in the sock" she has for protection. Oh Hell NO! Somehow NayNay puts an end to that real quick and its over just like that, H-Bang starts packing up she knows it went too far and needs to go. I lay awake for a while just hoping this is over and H-Bang really moves out. This room has been out of control for the last month ever since Ms. Dolly left and H-Bang moved in.

We get up for breakfast and its real quiet. No one is talking, we all get ready and as soon as they pop the doors, H-Bang is out the door with all her stuff. When we get back from breakfast, I get the whole story about what happened and how it all started. Then here comes Missy with moving her girlfriend in our room again. I don’t know why she was asking, she already had Jay ask to move in, WTF!?! I told her straight out that I don’t want a “couple” in this room and its not fair to the rest of us. What if you fight or break up? We shouldn’t be put in that uncomfortable situation. She tried to tell me that wouldn’t happen, but I’m not compromising on this, the answer is NO ! Then, here comes H-Bang back in our room. She tries to tell us they won’t let her move out of our room. We know this is not true because at breakfast her girlfriend down the hall told her not to move. Before we have to say or do anything, the officer comes to our room and talks to H-Bang about moving. There are two empty beds in our hall. Everything ended up working out and after lunch H-Bang officially moved out and down the hall to room 7. She is their problem now. Everyone was happy and it was a nice and quiet day. 

Later in the day, we got our new roommate, her name is Lizzy. She's 27 from San Bernardino. So far, I like my new bunkie and roommate.

Days 177-179 (3/18/15) Pruno

Day 177 3/18/15

Today was a frustrating day, the morning starts off with a fight during AM program, then someone from C hall in our housing unit gets caught stealing books from the library, so all library privileges are over for the day. 

It’s finally our units day to shop for the month, but by the time its our turn to shop they are out of stock on everything. Then to top it off they gave out 24 muumuus and I did not get one. Will I ever get off of A-Yard? I just have to remember it can always be worse.

"Success is never final and failure is never fatal, it's courage that counts"

Day 178 3/19/15

After breakfast NayNay went to her friends room to braid hair, she trades places with Chelsey so there are not any extra bodies, so when the CO’s walk by there are 8 of us in each room even if its not the right room they really don’t pay attention, but go figure today they call NayNay for medical. So the porter comes by with NayNay’s pass and we have to tell her NayNay is in another room so she could give her the pass, well it didn’t work out and NayNay got caught, the officer hit the room she was in and our room. Our room was lucky he didn’t mess up to much, he took a few extras and thank goodness he didn’t find the Pruno (prison wine) they hid in the trash can. We got off easy, and NayNay didn’t even get a 115 for being out of bounds. Of course when NayNay gets back from medical she is all upset trying to blame the porter, but she got herself caught and if you can’t do the time don’t do the crime! Everyone knows what the risks and consequences are when you do dumb shit like this and it could have been a lot worse she should be thankful it was no big deal. No one gave her a hard time and if it was anyone else I don’t think she would have been so kind as we were to her.

Day 179 3/20/15

We wake-up to modified program due to being short staffed again, well happy Friday! We just got our room hit yesterday for one of our roommates being out of bounds but that does not stop Missy from going across the hall and hanging out with her girlfriend. Missy had a dukat and instead of coming back to our room she goes across the hall. We may not program today because we are on 1st watch status and Missy knew that but still goes over there, she is so stupid, but she gets on my nerves so I don’t mind that she's gone all day. 

At 2pm we have shift change, we are no longer on modified 1st watch status but we have not been released to program, so they start panicking across the hall. They get a brilliant idea to ask for a plunger, they get their door opened and she's now standing in front of our room; seriously how dumb are you? Obviously that plan did not work and she gets caught. We are all irritated just waiting for our room to get hit again, well lucky for Missy our housing officer is sick and does not hit our room but we all lose program.Everyone is outside except our room and room 5 across the way, we are stuck inside and everyone is pissed off. Everyone wants Missy out, yelling at her to pack her shit and find a new room. 

Days 175 & 176 (3/16/15) Pretenders and Know it All's

Day 175 (3/16/15) 

Monday, the start of a new week. Today started out the week good. The day went by fast and we got our full long program. Plus, our room was nice and peaceful this morning. Missy was gone all day on ducketts and everyone else either read or slept. These types of days are rare and I enjoy every second of them. 

At dinner, H-Bang got caught receiving kites from “over the wall”. The workers in the chow hall are “over the wall”, so they are always trying to pass kites and items we can’t get on A-yard (make up, razors, certain hygiene items). They were passed where we turn our trays in. H-Bang is never low key and always brings attention to herself so of course she got caught. They pulled her to the side and searched her and confiscated her 3 kites. NayNay got caught in the sting too today. She got caught bringing food back from the chow hall and made her throw it all away. I always eat my food on the chow hall. I’m not risking going hungry, plus I don’t like eating in our room. 

Well, another fight in room 4 today. This is now starting to get out of hand. Missy got smart with NayNay and that was it. NayNay doesn’t really like Missy so, a little attitude and that was it. NayNay went off, then Missy goes over to the window and starts crying to her girlfriend in room 5. Then, another girl in room 5 is asking what’s wrong and assumes that it’s H-Bang, which drags H-Bang into it. That’s it, everything blows up. H-Bang wants to fight Missy now. Missy and H-Bang are yelling at Missy. Missy is trying to tell H-Bang that everything was blown out of proportion. H-Bang wants to fight people in room 5 as well screaming down the hall that it’s going down tomorrow at program behind the porta-potty. Again, a loud mouth telling on yourself. Who does that ? I’m really starting to think that H-Bang is all talk. That it’s just a front that she can kick ass and just because you are 5’10” and act like you’re a man, we are supposed to be afraid of you. I have never once been afraid during all her tirades and hoopla. I have not seen her do a damn thing and the fight she got into that got her in AD SEG, she didn’t even win. She was twice the girls size. If you stand up to her she backs down. She plays on peoples fear. It’s sort of pathetic and I’m so over the drama, bullshit, and all the heat she brings to this room. I just want to get off this yard without any problems. 

Day 176 (3/17/15)

Happy St. Patricks Day ! No wearing green today, as we only wear orange. A bunch of carrots all across this yard. 

No fight or “get down” today of course not. H-Bang didn’t even go out to the yard, so lame. But, Missy didn’t learn her lesson from last night. She’s on everyone’s last nerve right now. She is an expert at everything and anything. She is very rude, talks over people, interrupts everyone, butts into conversations she’s not in, and gives advice even when it’s not asked for. She has been to prison before, yet she acts this way ! Just because we have not been to prison, doesn’t mean you can come in this room and take over. It’s not happening, we already told her to pack her things and that she needs to move out. She says it’s in the works. It better be. She has been nothing but drama and a problem since she got here. Saturday is when they do “courtesy moves”, we told her what to do, but of course we don’t know what we are talking about. She knows it all and she’s going to do it her way and when it doesn’t work, I’ll be laughing. I hope she’s not surprised when all her shit is packed and out the front door. 

9/23/15, One year ago....

One year ago my Wife started a nightmare of a journey into the world of incarceration. Amazing how people can change in that amount of time. You either sink or swim. You either choose to live or curl up, give up, and die. The first week she was gone, I really had no clue how I even felt. Numb. As time went on, to say it was a roller coaster of emotions would be a a massive understatement. My kids and I have been through a crazy, emotional, difficult, lonely year. But, you know what ? We also changed for the better. We became self sufficient. We relied on each other. We became a better family. While it certainly wasn't easy and we had real battles trying to adjust, we chose to survive.
Honestly, I had no idea the things my Wife did for our family. That's my fault. I live with that guilt. I learned what she did very quickly. It was a tidal wave. Dealing with the onslaught of bills, loss of medical insurance, taxes, legal issues, and the kids school to just name a few. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself. Lord knows some days I wanted to, but I didn't. I asked a ton of questions to family. They were a big help. That was the number one thing I learned. To ask. Ask for help. I was not used to that at all. But, this situation changes you. Humility will change you.
I think it took us 6 months at least to start getting a little more comfortable in our situation. My Son (12 years old) was settled in school. I made sure he was surrounded by positive people. Whether it be teachers or coaches. No negativity. I did tell those teachers or coaches closest to to him about his Mom. I was expecting some sort of meltdown or lash out with him. But, it never happened (so far). His counseling, along with keeping him very busy, really helped. He would slip up here and there, but what 12 year old doesn't.
My Daughter was a little different. This was her first year in college. This hit her extremely hard. She was very close with her Mom. She basically lost her best friend. The first couple of months of school were very tough. No motivation to be there. I don't blame her. I just tried to be as positive as I could, even though that probably irritated her ! I wanted to show her I will never give up and will always believe in her. She was at school to obviously learn but to also play softball. Softball played a huge role in getting her on track. Very thankful for her coach and her teammates. It was different for my Daughter. I didn't tell anyone around her about her Mom. I left that up to her. I will say, my Sister in Law played a huge role in getting her on track with her studies. Again, very grateful.
My Daughter and I became closer than we ever have been. It was touch and go for a while, but it really came together for us. We love and respect each other. I love talking with her. She's a great kid that has gone through hell. All her hard work was rewarded in late May. A full scholarship to play softball in NY. So proud of her. She left for NY in early September. It was one of the harder things I've been through. Letting go. I miss her. I am very thankful for my Mother in law for actually taking her to NY. She was an enormous help.
Here we are, one year down. The news is good. My Wife should be home soon. We are very excited, but a little nervous too. She will come home to a "stronger" family. A more self sufficient family. One that she won't have to feel like she has to do it all by herself. While we know we aren't finished with this nightmare yet, we know we have the strength together to get through it.

Days 173 & 174 (3/14/15) "It's hard on me, but definitely harder on my family"

Day 173 (3/14/15)

I made my 15 minute phone call to my family today that I earned from working. It was wonderful to finally talk to them after 59 days. I was able to talk to my Husband and Son, my Daughter was busy playing softball, so I didn’t get tot talk to her. If I get another call before I leave, she’ll be the first person I call. I miss my family and can’t wait to get home. This part of the process is definitely the hardest. It’s hard on me, but definitely harder on my family. The process really takes a toll on families. Being far away, no contact, and being gone and out of touch for 90+ days, it’s just not right. No one should be on the yard more than 60 days (with the exception of medical holds and disciplinary problems). 

After dinner, NayNay got into an argument with Jessie. Jessie has been drawing cards and trying to sell them for canteen items. She’s just starting out, so she was talking about how much to sell them for. $1.00 ? $2.00 ? NayNay told her $3.00, but Jessie thought it was too high. So, NayNay started to get mean and put Jessie down. She was out of line. NayNay acts like a spoiled child if she’s not right or things don’t go her way. She'll blow up. So, we were dealing with that most of the day. I’m not getting involved in any of this drama. I am too old for this. I just keep on writing or read a book. It’s easy to get sucked in, it’s harder to stay out of it. 

Day 174 (3/15/15)

It’s been a rough weekend. NayNay got woken up from her nap (sounds like daycare) today. Everyone was getting loud, laughing, and banging on windows. I was quietly writing a letter on my bed. I cherish every minute of quiet time in here, because it’s very little. Jessie and Missy were out of line and being childish again. At the window again, pounding on it and yelling through the window. Talking, flirting, and messing around with room 5. Who cares, but have some respect for your roommates. NayNay was done. She got up and was yelling at everyone. She doesn’t like the room. It’s changed. This is not how it used to be. She’s right, I understand. It’s never been the same since Miss Dolly left. In only 3 weeks time, we had 3 roommates go “over the wall” and 2 parole and go home. So, we lost 5 great roommates and now we are all trying to adjust and it’s not easy and honestly no one in this room is respectful or courteous. Everyone just does whatever they want. Before, we had room rules along with respect. It’s gotten worse since Missy arrived. NayNay was ready to get down with everyone. I just stayed on my bed and kept writing. Once NayNay calmed down, Smiley and I talked her through it and came up with some ideas and new room rules. Whether they will be followed or not is another story. 

“People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within”

Day 172 (3/13/15) Snitches Get Stitches

Day 172 (3/13/15) Day #59 in Classification 

Friday morning. Still on a high from yesterday. I want to go so bad, I am excited, but don’t want to get my hopes up too high. I don’t want to be disappointed. There are lots of women on this yard for 4-8 weeks after seeing their counselor. But, I’ve seen others leave in 1-2 weeks, so anything is possible. I just have to be strong and stay positive. My time will come. 

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are “Something to do, Something to love, and Something to hope for”

Got to go to the law library today. I got to take a trip through B-yard and then to the main yard. It was so beautiful. I took my time and enjoyed the walk. Everything is so much better and taken care of over there. The library was actually smaller than I expected. There was not much we could do until we are endorsed, classified, and off this yard. But, the three women that worked there were very helpful and went over a lot of information and answered all our questions. I’m glad I went, it was a nice break to get out of my room and a pleasant trip “over the wall”, even though it was temporary. Because it is “over the wall”, we have to be escorted, so it’s time to head back. I’m in my own world, just enjoying being outside. As we are leaving the main yard, we got through a security gate / checkpoint that takes us back to B-yard. As I enter the gate, the girl in front of me gets “run up on” by a woman on B-yard. She starts yelling at her and starts swinging. I’m like WTF ! I back out of the gate and watch this woman go off. She’s punching and takes the other woman to the ground. Just beating the crap out of her and screaming “You snitch ! You told on me ! I lost my kids because of you !!”. The officers let them fight, then told them that that was enough. The woman wouldn’t stop, so they pepper sprayed them both. That didn’t stop the woman, she kept on beating her. They finally pulled her off the other woman and took her into the building. They picked up the the beaten woman (Flo), handcuffed her and hauled her back to A-yard. They were talking to the woman that did the beating (Astro), they were trying to calm her down. But, she kept saying how she had lost her kids because of Flo. It was very sad to see and hear. When I heard the officer say her name (Astro), I had heard of her before. H-Bang talks about her. I believe they are from same neighborhood and gang. Flo is from the same area as well. I guess Flo talked to try and get out of trouble and her talking got Astro 12 years in prison and her kids taken away. In the end, Flo ended up getting 30 years and is now a snitch. She has a long road ahead of her in here. Some people may joke about this saying, but in here, it’s no joke, it is very real. “Snitches end up with stitches and end up in ditches”, and that is the truth in here. That fight was like “Welcome to prison”, this is real shit. Flo just got here on A-yard yesterday. She is still in a muumuu, but was able to go to the law library. Which is not normal. What I’m saying is, “they” made that happen. It was set up that way. I guess Flo knew she was going to have the “catch that fade”. Prison life. 

I’m learning about gangs, life being in a gang, and life on the street more than I ever wanted to know. It’s crazy, and they live and die by these rules. This is no joke and I think a lot of these women playing games and being dumb on A-yard have a huge wake up call coming. 

A fight broke out in 503 on the way to dinner. It was a lot of in your face shit talking. Then one of the women shouldered the other and turned around to walk away and the other woman swung on her. Then, it was on. They brawled. The cops came in and broke it up. But, one of the women got clocked with a cup and was bleeding all over. 

Just a “normal” day here at the Central California Women’s Facility. The Wild Wild West. No security levels here, all mixed together. 

Days 170 & 171 (3/11/15) The last step...

Day 170 (3/11/15)

Happy Hump Day. I can always hear my Son saying that from the commercial. I sure miss him a lot. 

Well, it was another big day for muumuus. TT (Tiffany) got her muumuu and is finally going “over the wall”. After waiting 113 days in receiving, she’s on her way to Folsom. I’m wishing her the best. Not sure what H-Bang is going to do without his (her) girl. Now another roommate. This entire room has changed in the last two weeks. It’s only Smiley and myself left from a month ago. We see TT off and after dinner, they brought in the newbies. One of our new roommates is “Missy”. She’s been to prison before, back in 2009. She’s married with kids and is from Shasta County. She seems pretty cool. Our current room has 7 first timers. (5) 30 somethings, 2 babies that are 21 years old. 2 are gang bangers out of the bunch. 2 from Orange County, 4 from LA, 1 from Shasta, and one from San Diego. I hope the mix and vibe stays nice and keeps calm. 

I’m still waiting for Jackie to go “over the wall” so I can start working in the office. 

They handed out ducketts tonight and I finally got my dental duckett ! The last step in the receiving process. Woohoo !

Day 171 (3/12/15)

I have been here for exactly 8 weeks today. Went to see the dentist today. Waited in the waiting room for 2 hours for a 15 minute appointment. But, I didn’t care, I enjoyed being out of the room. I got the “score” I needed from the dentist. No issues. As I left the dentist, I walked back to my housing unit nice and slow, enjoying every second of the sun and fresh air. As I’m walking outside to my housing I see my roommates waving and banging on our window holding a pass. It was MY pass to see my counselor !! No way !? I was so excited, I ran to my room and my roommates slid it under the door to me, I practically sprint down the hallway to his office, grinning ear to ear. After filling out my paper work, I find out I qualify for everything. As in all low security programs. So, I chose to go to fire camp. This is exactly what I wanted. I am so happy, I can’t wait to go. My counselor said I should be gone in 1-3 weeks. I hope he is right. If so, I’ll be off this yard by the end of the month. I am so looking forward to the day I get my muumuu. 

Days 168 & 169 (3/9/15) The DA loves to add years in here

Day 168 (3/9/15)

It’s Monday. Hoping and waiting everyday I get my dental duckett and / or see my counselor. Once you see your counselor, you are super close to going “over the wall”. It should be this week. 

It was a nice quiet day today. Our room has settled down. H-Bang is tyring to behave and keep a low profile. But, it’s a real challenge for her. On Friday, our housing officer said he had his eye on “A Hall” and that helped to quiet it down. Let the heat lift off our room. 

Late this afternoon, they came and arrested Marie. She’s across the hall. We thought maybe Star had changed her mind and pressed charges, but that was not the case. The DA picked up the case because of Star’s injuries. Off to AD SEG she went. Now, she’s looking at additional years. It’s scary how easily you can come in here and never go home. They say Madera County loves to pick up cases. I can’t wait to get out of here. This is why it’s so important to keep to yourself and stay out of the mix and drama. 

H-Bang couldn’t help herself today and as 501 was walking to dinner, she was up in the window banging and yelling and “Ms. M” (Officer) came to our room and said to her “I have to move you to a room not facing the yard”. H-Bang apologized and begged and pleaded for one more chance. Surprisingly, Ms M gave her a second chance. But, if she’s caught in the window banging and yelling, she’s out. We will see if she makes it. 

Day 169 (3/10/15)

Happy Birthday to my Mom.

Another quiet eventful day. One of the jobs on this yard is a “Yard Facilitator”. Basically, they check in and out the balls, exercise mats, and bands when we program. Well, one of the Yard Facilitators is really annoying. She’s an “expert” and really bossy. As I am walking to fill my water bottle up, she tries to tell me I can’t use the water fountain by the basketball courts. “Officer “S” doesn’t want anyone in this area”. I don’t think so “Deputy No Badge”. I just kept on walking and filled up my water bottle. Give me a break and she wonders why someone ratted her out. She was selling phone calls to inmates for “canteen” items. Which, I understand, this is prison, everyone has their hustle, but they were not her phone calls to sell. She was cutting the number of players on the kickball teams, so she could sell the extra slots. Kickball may sound “childish” but it’s a big deal here. You can be rewarded with phone calls home. So, it was total BS what she was doing. So, they (Officers) found out what she was doing. She didn’t get fired, but her room got hit (inspection / torn down) and has the heat on her. She’s mad about it, but it’s karma. She’s one of those inmates that knows everything. Well, you can’t be giving advice if you ended up here. Don’t ever take advice from a “fellow” inmate, just take care of yourself. 

Days 166 & 167 (3/7/15) "What happens in this room, stays in this room"

Day 166 (3/7/15) Day 53 in Receiving 

Sam went home today. I’m so happy for her. I hope she enjoys her Roundtable pizza today ! I’m going to miss her, but glad to see her get out of this place. 

I walked alone today during program. Jewelz got caught on the yard today getting a tattoo. They got pulled into the Sergeants office and lost every thing. Hair ties, piercings, all contraband. Once you “alter” an item from it’s original purpose, it’s contraband. We can’t have anything while on A-yard. Women pay top dollar for jewelry. So, Jewelz was really upset for losing her piercings. 

Once we came in from program, the bomb went off. The second our door shut to our room, H-Bang went ballistic ! Screaming and yelling, punching lockers, she tore off her shirt, and started pacing like a caged animal. She wanted to know who opened their mouth, because Rule #7 says “What Happens in this Room, Stays in this Room” and someone has been talking about H-Bang and her girlfriend Tiffany. H-Bang has a wife in here and she (the wife) found out that H-Bang has been “late night fucking” someone in this room. Well, Sam’s gone, and we have two new people, so it’s only a couple of us left and I don’t have friends and I keep to myself. So, I just made my lunch and went about my business and let her rant and rave. Then, NayNay and H-Bang started arguing. I’m not sure if NayNay talked (wouldn’t be surprised), but I didn’t care, I’m not getting involved in this BS. I follow Rule #5 “Mind Your Own Business”. I thought they might actually come to blows, but they didn’t and once the dust settled, Tiffany, H-Bang, and NayNay made up and blamed Diamond, Tiffany's ex. Follow ? Keeping up with this ? 

This is why you “Don’t Get a Girlfriend” in prison (Rule #2). Crazy, insecure, women. Too messy and way too much drama. 

Day 167 (3/8/15)

Came back from breakfast today and had two extra roommates. That’s 10 women in an eight man cell. It’s crowded ! I don’t care what others do as long as I don’t get in trouble. 

We did have fun though, we played spades all morning. Got a little nervous when we weren’t sure if we were going to program, because how are we going to get two extra bodies out of here before count ? But, it all worked out. 

During program this afternoon, one of the girls I knew from San Diego, “Star”, was arguing on the yard with her ex-girlfriend. Star and “Marie” broke up last week, but Star told her “we may be done, but if I see you with anyone else, I will kick that bitches ass” and she wasn’t lying. Star saw Marie kissing and messing with some girl she barely knew across the hall and Star was not having it. Star started to lose it. She had to be held back. I’m thinking, we just got outside, we don’t need a fight right out of the damn gate. It seemed like it was all fine, but as everyone was waiting to go out, Star started hitting the girl Marie was messing around with and then Marie jumped in. The girl ran away and Marie just started pounding on Star. Star didn’t want to fight Marie so she didn’t fight back. Star’s face was all bloody when they came and broke it up. Star didn’t cooperate with medical and they both signed “non-enemy combatant” forms. Better to fight as non-enemies in the eyes of the cops. Less repercussion. Star had a broken nose, but wasn’t going to press charges or anything. After they went to the segeant’s office, they went back to their rooms. This place is crazy. I’m so ready to get out of here. 

Tomorrow is a new week. I hope it’s a good one. 

Days 164 & 164 (3/5/15) "It was time for her to go"

Thinking about Prego today. Today is her release date. I sure hope she hasn’t delivered those babies yet. Definitely not in prison. I hope she’s doing good. 

Came in from program today, had lunch and was playing “10,000” with my roommates when they brought in muumuus. It was early and as we were talking about it, they brought in Jazzy her muumuu. She’s finally going “over the wall”. We were all so excited for her. She got here November 10th (2014), saw her counselor on 1/29/15 and it took her 115 days to get off A-Yard (classification). It was time for her to go. We helped her pack and made her sing to us one more time. I will miss that voice. Every time she would sing, I would think of my family. Jazzy is a very special young woman with a bright future. I know she will make the most of her second chance when she gets out and I plan to keep in touch. I am going to miss her, but I am happy she left. 

A big bus came in from LA today. Hoping we get another good roommate. This will be our 3rd new roommate in a week and on Saturday, it will be #4. 

So, our new roommate is “Sophie”. She’s 36 years old and has 7 kids. Her kids are ages 17 years old to 4 months. She’s really nice and mellow. Our room is really starting to balance out and be ok. 

I can’t wait for my turn to leave. 

“Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life”

Day 165 (3/6/15)

Sam’s going home tomorrow and we got our entire long program today. It was perfect, we got our last walk together. I am really going to miss her. 

“Taya” somehow got herself moved from 503 to 502 today. She’s on “C” and “D”  program, but she’s out and about this afternoon like she always is. She was outside talking to Taboo and the others in AD SEG. Taboo was telling Taya to come to AD SEG to be with her. Taya wanted to be with her, but wasn’t sure about AD SEG. But, in the end, Taya refused to lockdown so she could end up in AD SEG with Taboo. 24/7 lockdown, shower every 2 days, and program 1 hour every three days outside in a cage, all for a girlfriend in prison. 

Bad decisions got you here and bad decisions will keep you here. 

Days 162 & 163 (3/3/15) AD SEG

The fight that happened on Sunday night with the “biter” and the “lock in the sock” escalated. The woman who got hit with the lock got sent to AD SEG and because she’s a “biter”, she has to wear a hood every time she comes out of her cell. She’s facing chargers for fighting and is pressing charges on 5 of her roommates. They were all taken to AD SEG and are facing charges of assault with a deadly weapon. I just don’t understand, these women just act on emotions not on what the consequences might be. The drop of a hat and everything changes for these women. 

Well, the cat is out of the bag in our room. H-Bang and Tiffany hooking up when the lights go out. They first hooked up on Sunday night. I didn’t hear a thing. I’m very thankful that I sleep like a rock. I heard about it the next morning, but didn’t say a word. Not my business and I don’t care. I just want to do my time and go home to my family. 

Day 163 (3/4/15)

This morning, our new roommate “Jessie” (she replaced Carra on Monday. She’s 21 from Orange County, very quiet, respectful, super sweet, and a good roommate) noticed a fight on the yard as 503 was coming back from breakfast. We were all in the windows watching. It was Taya and Little Bill. They had dropped their lunches and started to fight, but the officer came up quick with the baton in hand, so Little Bill took off running. Then, she dropped to the ground with her hands behind her neck. She said she ran so she didn’t get hit with the baton. They both got handcuffed and hauled off to the sergeants office. Both got issued another “115”. Taya has to have at least 5 or 6 “115’s” by now. I guess it’s one thing if you want to fight, but you keep adding time to your stay here. That, I don’t get. 

Peaches refused to lock in so she could go to AD SEG with her girlfriend. She was one of the 5 that was arrested for assault. Guess going to AD SEG to be with your girl is a common thing here. Again, hard for me to understand , because I would never go to AD SEG for anyone. Rule #1 “I Came Here Alone, I’m Leaving Here Alone”. I live by that rule. I didn’t come here to make friends, to get a girlfriend, or have a good time. I came here to do my time and go home to my family. No one and nothing is worth risking me going home to my Husband and kids. 

We get dessert with dinner. Usually popsicles, fruit cups, pudding, or ice cream cups. But, every once in a while we get a treat. Tonight, as 501 was walking back from dinner, we saw that we got a drumstick ice cream cone ! We went crazy ! Celebrating like someone won the lottery ! You know you’re in prison when you get that excited over an ice cream cone ! 

Days 160 & 161 (3/1/15) "Fights, Locks, a Job, and the DA"

Day 160

3/1/15

The start of a new month. Hoping this is a good month. I should be seeing my counselor soon and if I'm lucky, "over the wall" before this month is over. 

We got to program this morning, thank goodness. It was nice to finally get outside. Our room seemed to settle down, actually had moments of silence this afternoon. We will see if it stays this way. 

Tonight, we were waiting for dinner, 503 was walking back to their housing unit when the alarm went off in housing 501. Yard down. When they brought the girl out in handcuffs, she had a golf ball size lump over her eye. It was insane. Then two more girls came out handcuffed. I guess a fight broke out, the lady with the lump bit one of her roommates in the leg and then someone smashed her face with with a lock in a sock. This whole yard down ordeal took forever. We didn't go to dinner until after 7pm. Everyone was complaining. We lost our evening program, because by the time we got back from dinner, it was after 8pm. Sucked.

I have started adjusting to the new dynamics of our room. I adapt well and get along with many different personalities, which has been a very helpful trait in prison. 

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use"

Day 161

3/2/15

Cuba got moved to 503 late last night. She had been hiding her two black eyes, but after dinner, an officer saw them. She tried to get info from Cuba on what what happened, but she wouldn't talk, so she went into the room and inspected every one's knuckles and hands. Then, she packed up Cuba's belonging and sent her to 503, after giving her roommates a long hard lecture. 

It's Monday, the start of a new week. The counselors are in training all week, so there will no seeing my counselor this week. But, I'm staying positive and hoping to still be out of here by the end of the month. 

Carra paroled this morning, time for a new roommate. Let the anxiety begin. What will we get this time .

While we were programming this afternoon, I got offered a job at the counseling office ! "Jackie" is currently working the position, but she should be going "over the wall" this week or next and is looking for her replacement. I couldn't believe it ! It couldn't have come at a better time. I needed that. I was so excited when she asked, I said "Yes, of course I want the job". It's a perfect job for me. I wish I could start tomorrow . 

We got interviewed today, they were investigating our old roomies case. Janie listed us all as witnesses, but we were all out of the building and halfway to dinner when it went down. So, it was pointless, we all had the same story. They (The officer and Janie), had words, he pulled her aside, told her to have a seat, she sat down, he took her ID card, and we were released for dinner. Half way to dinner, the alarm went off. We can't help her. Plus, from what I heard from a few girls that actually saw what happened, Janie shoulder brushed him as she walked by him. It wasn't a big deal, but the cop treated as an assault and slammed her into the floor. The officer did not press charges, but the DA picked up the case anyway. Surprise surprise. Janie should have never mouthed off that night and she would be in this mess.