5am. Today started like any other day. I woke up up, got washed, cleaned up the cell, made my bed, started reading, and doing a little writing. Bottom tier got the AM shift, so I am preparing for my day of lockdown. We won’t get out until 1 or 2 this afternoon. I really don’t like the AM or PM only, but, it is what it is. We have this particular deputy a lot. It’s frustrating, she gives us so little time out of lockdown. She works a 12 hour shift and in the 12 hours, she interacts with us 3-4 hours (2 hours per tier, if that). It’s almost a little out of hand. What is she doing the other 8-9 hours ? We are supposed to get out 3 hours in the AM and 3 hours in the PM. Today we got 1 hour in the afternoon and had lunch in our cells. I keep praying everyday for that call “B**** roll up, you’re moving”. That call came today, this morning the deputy called our cell and told me to “roll up”. I thought “oh my gosh, I get to work !”. Then I clarified with her that I was only moving cells again. Why ? I have to move again. At first, I got scared. Was I moving to to cell 19 ? Cell 19 is the crazy cell. That is where the real crazies have been. They have a lot of problems with the people in that cell and just the other night, they were going to switch up an inmate with cell 19 and she begged the deputy, she told her “I will roll up because you gave me a direct order, but I will go to lockdown before going to cell 19. She got to stay. They ended up just moving one of the girls in 10 out of this unit. For safety reasons, they should not be here. They should be in the one man cells in mental health. I asked the deputy if I was staying on the top tier, she said yes. I asked what cell ? She responds with “you’ll see”. WTF ! I start packing my stuff up and my bunkmate freaks out. She’s crying, she’s yelling, she is begging the deputy “Please, please don’t move her !!” Deputy responds “Why ?” My bunkmate says “Because she’s a good person, I don’t want anyone else ! Please deputy, let her stay. I promise to be good. I won’t give you any trouble. Let her stay”. Oh my gosh, it was so sad. She started making me cry. It’s true, we were comfortable. She was my rummy partner. We had our routine and it was good. She ended up being the best roommate I’ve had so far. She had her moments, but she wasn’t a bad person. I am going to miss playing cards and I will always be thankful for all the information and advice she gave me on prison. I hope she gets out of here soon and gets her life turned around. With all the begging and crying, the deputy sent the sergeant up here to move me. I was moving next door to cell 26. When they opened it up, no one was in there. The previous 2 girls were gone. I had the cell to myself. At first I panicked. I thought they picked the new workers and I didn’t get picked. So, I got upset. But when I went downstairs for toilet paper, the deputy talked to me. She said that I was “normal” and that I needed to get away from my roommate. She said my roommate was out of control and not right. So, I did feel better after the explanation. The two girls that were in this cell were transferred to county parole. So, I was ok for the moment. The deputy promised to give me a normal roommate, but we’ll see about that. For now, I will enjoy the cell to myself. First thing I did was clean the heck out of this cell before I unpacked. This place was filthy. But, when I was done, it was spotless. The only thing left to do, was sweep and mop. I finally unpacked, did my cell exercises, and read. Now, I will just wait and see what the rest of the day brings me. Like I have a choice.
It was a rough day. Only got out for one hour, from 2:30pm - 3:30pm. Then got 5 minutes to get dinner and bring it back to our cells to eat. I absolutely hate lockdown. But, I pushed through the day and made it without getting too down. My Husband tells me he’s always worried about me. He says he’s scared that I’ll succumb to the cruelty of lockdown. The 2 hours of time I get out of my cell. The “no structure” and never knowing when you get out of the cell. I think he has some good points. But, I know I’ll make it.
I got a new roommate. She’s young. She is “normal”, no mental illness. Must be another victim of the overflow here. She’s quiet and I am now glad to be in this new cell. It was only a matter of time before my old roommate would have gotten me a write up or lockdown.
I got mail tonight ! The photopostcards my husband ordered me arrived ! So, now I have pictures of my family. It was so nice nice to receive them, now I can see their smiling faces everyday ! Along with the postcards, I got another wonderful email from my Husband. He really is so amazing and then of course an email from my Dad with more jokes. They are really good and make me laugh. I wonder what the deputies think when they read them ? My family is definitely keep the deputies busy every night with all the mail !