Saturday, November 29, 2014

Day 30 (10/22/14) “For reals Homie"

It’s Wednesday, hump day ! I can’t wait to call and ask my Son what day it is. I love it when he say “Hump Daaayyyy” ! He's so funny ! 
Another new deputy today. We have had a new deputy for the past 4 days. This one is a good one, she gives us our full day room time and time in the morning and afternoon. This housing unit must have a really bad reputation. I guess not too many deputies like working this housing unit. Our deputy today included. Maybe it’s all the grievances the inmates file on the deputies. I have watched the Sergeants empty the complaint box (once a week) and it’s full with 20-30 complaints every time. I am sure the majority are about all the lockdowns. 
My Husband ordered me a book to read. It was delivered here on Friday, 10/17/14. I have been asking everyday for it. I have still yet to receive it (Today is 10/22). It’s supposed to be delivered the next day, just like our emails. So, I should have gotten it on Sunday at the latest. It’s frustrating because you are on lockdown like 90% of the day and books pass the time. Yet, you can’t get any books around here. When I asked about getting books, I was told the Chaplin comes around 2-3 times a week to rotate books throughout the housing units. I have yet to see these books. So, I figured they really don’t deliver them throughout the week, just on Saturdays. I saw the Chaplin collect two big bags of books out of the deputy’s storage closet. The Chaplin asked the deputy if they were done with the bags of books, the deputy said to "go ahead and take them, we don’t need them right now". Are you kidding me ?? They have had books for us the entire time and refused to put them out for us ! Everyone in this unit is dying to find a new book to read. We are like vultures when someone finishes a book. When I leave this unit, I will be donating all my books to this housing unit. A gift from Sisters for a Second Chance. 
So, after lunch today, my new bunkmate is talking my face off. She’s nice and all, but I want to tell her my name is not “homie”. She says “for reals homie” way too much. During her numerous stories, she proceeds to tell me that before she was locked up, she was homeless. So, she applied for public assistance and she gets $551 a month in food stamps and assistance, along with medi-cal, and that’s while she’s IN jail. So, she’s going to have $3000 just waiting for her when she gets out. I am thinking, are you serious ? Tax payers are paying for you to be in jail and your public assistance ? It didn’t seem right to me. Again, our system is really broken. I do feel for her, that money could be used to get back on track and start a new life. A second chance. But, I would not be surprised to see her back on the streets again and buying drugs. Our system needs a complete overhaul. Badly.

We had mail call and I received 5 emails. My Daughter, my Sister, my Husband, and two from my Dad. My roommate said “I’ll get them , they’re all for you”. Like always, I felt bad. I know I am very blessed. My roommate may have pissed me off with the toilet paper "sale", but she’s a decent bunkmate. She’s nice and has a good sense of humor. She shared her story with me tonight be fore bed. She tells me, for the entire time she’s been in here, she’s never received an email from her Mom and and I could tell that really hurt her. That’s so sad. She said her Dad died when she was three. She said he was a Crip and was shot to death. Her Mom was on the streets doing drugs and in a gang. Her Mom just never grew up and took care of her and her siblings. She’s been homeless and her younger sister is also serving time. She had her first baby at 16. He most recent Son was in foster care for 8 months before her Grandma came and got him to raise him while she’s in jail. I am listening to her and thinking, did she ever have a chance ? It’s so very sad and to think the streets and this life she leads is all she knows. Now, she’s just lost in this system. I hope she gets a second chance when she gets out of here. Hope she goes home to her Son and becomes the Mom hers never was. To be locked up and never taught the way to live a clean life seems like such a waste. We are sitting in here doing nothing. There has to be a way to break the chain. I hope one day I'll be able to make an impact on an inmate and help them re-direct their life. There has to be a way. 

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