Monday, January 5, 2015

Day 46 (11/07/14) Unconditional, Unbreakable

It’s Friday, I was finally almost able to sleep until 8am. That’s a nice change. I had an absolutely amazing visit with my kids last night. It was on time and such a pleasure to see their faces and hear their voices. What I would do to be able to just give them a big hug. Just that 30 minutes with them gave me so much happiness and strength. They warm my heart. I love and miss them so much. They are both my special angels. I went to sleep happy and loved thinking about my family. I hope they hear me every night when I tell them how much I love them, miss them, and hope they are doing ok. 

This morning was rough. I stood at my cell door and stared out the window and cried. I just thought about my Husband and how much I miss him. Today is our 16 year wedding anniversary. 16 years ago today, I married my hero, my king, my best friend. He’s been there by my side loving me unconditionally. Everyday, I am so very lucky to have this amazing man. I love him so much and can’t wait to spend another 16 years with him. I spent my morning reading his letter to me over and over again. This is what he sent me:

16 years ago I married my soulmate, my best friend. It seems like a blur sometimes. It’s been  a journey, an adventure, a love story. There have been fantastic times. sad times, tough times, beautiful times. memorable times. I feel so lucky to have you in my life. You have made me a better man. You have stood by me through thick and thin. You’ve listened to me over and over probably when you didn’t even want to ! I would trade any of this for the world. I am so very proud that you are my Wife. I love you, Happy Anniversary. 

It was a hard day, but I made it through it. I called my Husband in the afternoon when I finally got out. Talking to my family really helps. I wish I could talk to them more. 
Then my Husband and I had our video visit. Just the two of us. We joked about our “hot” anniversary date. I love and miss my Husband so much. This situation has brought us closer and has made our relationship stronger. I can’t imagine doing this without him. 
I got a photo postcard today ! It’s my family at the beach. Myself, Husband, and the kids. I love the photo. Just to be able to see them feels good, but hurts at the same time. I miss them so much and desperately want to see them, hold them, hug them, and kiss them. I just want this to end, I am so ready to start a new chapter in my life. My Husband and children give me the strength to dig deep and keep pushing on. 

Life is a Journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once, there would be no point in living. Enjoy the ride and in the end you’ll see these “setbacks” as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach, all you have to do is show up everyday, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek. 

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