Saturday, January 31, 2015

Day 56 (11/17/14) "She received devastating news"

It’s Monday, start of a new week. 8 weeks down, it feels like time is so slow here, but it’s already Thanksgiving next week and before I know it Christmas will be right around the corner. The holidays are tough. I just want November and December to be over with. I am ready for 2014 to end and 2015 to begin. 
I got a new roommate yesterday. No one new has moved into our dorm. But, one of the girls hated her roommate and a few nights ago asked to be moved. The deputy told her no. There were 7 open beds, but the deputy refused. She told her “It’s jail, deal with it”. So, she did. But then on Friday night, she received some devastating news, her Father passed away. With the grief of losing her Dad and having a horrible roommate, she couldn’t take it anymore. She cried and broke down to the corporal. The corporal agreed to move her. She had no idea who was in cell 25, Me. She didn’t care, she was just glad to be moved. After dinner we talked. She told me about her Dad and about losing him. It was terrible. That’s my worst fear, losing someone or something serious or tragic happening to a loved one when I’m locked up. You can’t be there, you don’t get to say goodbye. She's so mad at herself. Full of regret and guilt. She kept apologizing for crying. I told her no need to apologize, cry all you want, I cry too, I have my moments because I miss my family. She said “Something about when I walk to chow hall”. I told her “You know what ? Every time I walk to dinner is when I start to really miss my family and sometimes I just want to cry. Other times after dinner when I get back to my cell, I do, I stand at the window and cry. It’s ok, you’re going through a lot”. She told me how weird and rude her old roommate was. How uncomfortable she felt. I told her that she had nothing to worry about. I am a nice and super polite bunkie. She was so happy. She tells me she can tell we will get along just fine. I agree, hopefully she is my last roommate while I am here. She is serving a two year sentence with half, so one year. She gets out November 3rd, 2015. She is 33 and has 4 kids. Her oldest is 14 and her youngest is 3. Her sisters live in Washington and is taking care of her children for her. This is not her first time in jail or prison. But, hopefully her last. I think losing her Dad was a wake up call. She plans on moving out of CA when she gets out and going up to Washington to start over with her kids. Life is too short for this bullshit, in and out of jail / prison. She has so much to give and live for. I hope she gets her second chance and makes the most of it.

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. 

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