Day 37 (10/29/14) Young, scared, remorseful...

Happy Hump Day ! I lay in my bed last night reading and enjoying my book. My roommate is doing her hair. The bottom tier is out for their evening time. My roommate feels the need to try and talk to the girls below. Well, they are not allowed upstairs. It’s very hard to hear through the thick cell doors here, so my roommate is screaming through the the door trying to talk to them to no avail. They can’t hear her, but I sure can. I ignore her, but now it’s going on way too long. I want to yell “Do you mind !? Shut the hell up please !” But, instead, I suggest maybe she should write a note and give it to them before we lockdown. It was my polite way of telling her she was driving me crazy, please be quiet. She got the hint and settled down. I read into the night until my eyes were tired. Once my head hit the pillow (inmate made pillow, there are no pillows issued in jail), I was asleep until breakfast. I love Wednesday's breakfast, because we get bananas after breakfast. I try to fall back asleep after breakfast, but my mind is racing with too many things. I finally settle my mind and fall back asleep. 

I wake up to the sound of cell doors opening. I am tired, but get up, you never know if this will be your only time out for the day. I get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth and head downstairs. It’s 7am, what a nice change. Deputy says she will spilt the morning and afternoon between both tiers. I am very happy, today's a good day. Just that little time out makes such a difference. I still long for and wish I could move housing units, just to be out of my cell a little longer and be able to physically see my family. It would make this stay a little easier, not only for me, but for my kids and Husband. The chances are slim, but I’m not giving up hope. 

During afternoon dayroom time, the deputy asked me to move downstairs to cell 9. I said “Really ? Do I have to ? I don’t want to move downstairs.” She was nice and made my bunkie move instead. The girl in 9 was her friend, so it worked out for her. Now, she didn’t have to bang and yell out the door to the bottom tier any longer. My new roommate was an older lady named Kat. Why they moved her upstairs, I’ll never know. She could barely make it up the stairs. I helped move her in and make her bed. She’s nice and very quiet. She lasted 30 minutes and then they moved her back downstairs. 

Roommate 6 came and went, roommate 7 just moved in. She seems normal and friendly. She has lots of books, like myself and enjoys reading. I see the book “Gone Girl” in her collection ( I love that book) and I know we will get along. My new roommate has been here since April and is waiting trial for gross vehicular manslaughter. Trial starts in February, because her public defender is busy on a murder trial now. She’s hoping to make a deal before February. She’s looking at prison time. She’s so young and scared. After dinner we talked for hours. She told me her story and what happened. 

She made me cry twice. I feel bad for her and if her friends had been wearing their seat belts, maybe they wouldn’t had been seriously injured or worse. She probably wouldn’t be here right now. She’s only 25 and is facing 4-12 years in prison. That’s so sad. I hope she gets a decent deal. She seems like a good person. She was in the Navy, she helps take care of her family. She has some great goals for when she gets out. About talking to young people and sharing her story. She definitely deserves a second chance and when she gets done with her sentence, I hope I get the opportunity to help her with that second chance in life. This system is so cruel and harsh. Where is the forgiveness, rehabilitation, and redemption.