Friday, October 17, 2014

Day 13 (10/5/2014)

Went to sleep with a big smile. I actually felt happy. I had a great talk with my Husband and Daughter. My Husband had great news he shared with me and I received 2 new books from my Mother in Law. Received  3 wonderful emails from my Husband  and my amazing Daughter. She has grown into a beautiful strong young  lady. I am so proud of her. 
My bunkmate and I laughed and joked last night before bed. I have not laughed hard like that in a while. It felt great. I had a moment of pure joy, it made me forget where I was and at the moment I was happy. It felt amazing to smile as I went to sleep.
Sunday is usually a day of rest for us, but not today. We were up before sunrise, had to get ready for inspection.  Cleaned and ready. Passed. 
My roommate did not get a milk for lunch and now she is furious. Yelling and hollering about a conspiracy. People stirring up mess, haters, and on and on. I have my roommate going off in the cell and the inmate in cell 13 (directly below us) going absolutely berserk ! Smashing and pounding on everything in her cell. She’s begging to be let out of her cell. They just leave her in there to yell and scream all day. A caged animal, that’s how she’s treated. He episodes come and go, but right now the chaos is out of control.  Sometimes it’s just too much. I just want to read in peace. Day room time can’t come fast enough today, It’s my only escape from this madness.
Day room came and went. It was a nice break, but it never feels long enough. After dinner was alright too. Got a lot of reading in. Reading a great new book called “Ashes to Ashes”. Getting lost in it. Love how it takes me away from all this for a while. But, after the evening time, I came back to the looney bin.  My bunkmate is off her rocker again tonight. Something about this particular deputy here sets her off. Her episodes are getting more frequent. It’s getting hard to handle. Imagine being in a 10ft by 8ft cell, with an 8” wide by 24” tall window on the door and that’s it. These cells don't have bars. It's a door. You have a mentally ill person you share this tiny room with who is full of rage and obviously hearing voices.  It’s weird, I’m not scared, more frustrated and annoyed. Well, I was able to finally shut her out and fell asleep. I have been blessed with the gift to be able to fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything (as my Husband always told me). So, I closed my eyes and I was out. The silence was golden. 

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