Decided I need a routine. So, breakfast at 4am, go back to bed, get back up around 7-8am, go make a call, exercise, shower, enjoy free time. "Free time" haha. This sounds ok, until there's a lock down. Then it's all gone.
This morning I got my call in with my daughter. She is one special young lady. I love her so much, I am so proud of her.
Then a little bit of exercise on the bike and before I could get my shower in, we were in lock down. It wasn't even 9am yet. They had maintenance come in and do some work. So, it was another long day of lock down. It was real hard. I cried a lot, I cried so much. I was sick of crying. I just miss my family so much. I also worry about them as well. I am scared not being there with them. Able to help and protect them.
I received my first mail today. A letter from my Husband and Sister. That was really nice.
I spent my time today finishing the book I started and wrote letters to my family. I cherished the time at lunch and dinner. Short, but wonderful. You become thankful for the little things in here. The things you would take for granted in the "free" world.
Only got an hour again tonight. So after 10.5 hours of lock down, I wasted no time. I had to call my family. Had to clean my cell first for inspection tomorrow morning. Always being locked up in your cell, you don't get to sweep, mop, and clean. I hustled and got it done quick.
I was off to the phones. Had a great talk with my husband and kids. I was really sad and cried at my husband. But, he was so strong. He gave me the strength I needed to not give up and keep going. It's real hard not to give up in this place. You can lose hope real fast. I don't know how women with no support on the outside make it.
Mama J likes to sing. She sings to me to cheer me up. She is such a sweet and giving lady. She shared the following with me today to help with my struggles and sadness.
"Dear Lord, I am far from home and I miss everyone and everything. I think about my children and I wish I could tuck them in at night. I miss my Husband, my family, and our special times. I miss all the little things I usually take for granted. Help this time pass quickly, bless those I love and help them know they are always in my thoughts and prayers. Please bring me home safely"