Sound, you become desperate to hear the unlocking of your cell. I am thankful for every second I get to step outside this cell. I wasted no time this morning, I was up and moving. First thing, call my husband. It was a great call. Last nights call was rushed, this morning was like we were having our daily talk with a cup of coffee. It really helped lift my spirits. Then I went and got some sun and and exercise. Our "yard" is a small concrete area, with tall 15ft walls and chain link over it. Like it was the ceiling. I rode the exercise bike and walked around as much as I could, showered and spent as much time as I could in the day room. I enjoy sitting and standing by the big windows. Just to look outside and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin is nice.
Then it was back to the cell for lockdown. I couldn't hold back the tears today. The loneliness and heartbreak I felt for my family was unbearable. I miss them so much and the time goes by so slow here. I think "how am I going to make it through this ? Will I be able to ? Am I strong enough ?" I don't know if I can.
Mama J had a book she picked up that someone had left here. She let me read it. Reading helps the time and the tears. I read through three quarters of the book, "One Bad Dude" was the name. The miraculous transformation of a four time loser. It was a decent read. It kept my mind busy.
Had to have dinner our cells. That was disappointing. Just have to try and get used to this cell as my "new" yet "temporary" home. At least until I get transferred to my "permanent" home for the rest of my sentence. It is so very hard, this is going to be one long tough journey.
Got an hour and a half out tonight (7-8:30pm). It was nice. Got to talk to my Husband again and my Sister. Plus, got some more exercise in as well. Again, thankful every day for every minute I am out of the cell.
Commissary arrived tonight. Now I can write letters to my family and hope it helps the time go by.
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