It's Sunday and I get to see my Sister and Daughter today ! I woke up to more letters and got my books at breakfast. My Husband sent me a word search, crossword, and sudoku puzzle book. This should help keep my mind sharp. My Mother in Law sent me "What Alice Forgot". Looks like a great book ! I will be reading that today. I can't thank them enough for all they have done and continue to do for me. I am so fortunate for all my loved ones and for everything I have and have been given. My heart aches for those that aren't as fortunate as myself. I really hope that I can find a way to give back. I want others to feel the love and support that I have felt during this rough journey. just because we make a mistake, does not mean are bad. Good people make mistakes. My biggest fear and anxiety is finding a job again. Getting a second chance. There are so many obstacles we face when we get out of jail and or prison. Finding a job, finding a home, putting our finances back in order, finding treatment, getting back, and / or reuniting with our children. I want to put together a foundation that helps women coming out of jail/prison get back on their feet and get their lives back in order. If given the chance, I believe many won't return and will become contributing members of society and communities. It's when hopelessness,desperation, and lack of resources directs women back to drugs, alcohol, and crime. My first effort is Mama J. She gets out next month (OCT). She really wants to get into one of Father Joe's apartments. If she left today, she would be homeless. Her family is in Texas, I am going to see what I can do to help her get the info she needs to get set up before she gets out. She is a wonderful woman with a big heart. Always looking to help others. I want to see her succeed.
So, the deputy didn't tell me I had a visit at 2. I called my Sister and she was waiting downstairs with my daughter for our visit. By the time we got online for our "video visitation", there was only 12 minutes left of our 30 minute visit. Man, that killed me. But. my Sister, being the super woman that she is, got me another 30 minutes of visitation with them. You only get (2) 30 minute video visitations a week, so every second is cherished and means everything to me. You 1 hour a week to see your loved ones. 1 hour out of 168 hours in a week. So to lose that time can be devastating. But, my amazing Sister came through for us and took care of it.
It was great to see them. My daughter looks and sounds good. I worry about my kids the most. But I remind myself how resilient they are. They are the reason I wake up everyday and never give up. Every day I have my low moments, but I think about my Husband and kids. I force myself to be strong and keep going. Because, eventually, we all be together again.
I am just waiting for tonights free time. I can't wait to make the call to my Husband and kids. I'll then go to the window and look up to the sky for the stars and know my Husband will be thinking of me. My Husband wrote this for me before I left:
Look to the Sky and think of Me
Look to the Stars and that's where I'll be
Close your eyes and know you're going to be alright
I'll close mine too and be holding you tight