First day of October. 11 days until my little Lion Cub turns 12 years old. I can’t believe I am going to miss his birthday. That’s my baby boy. I miss his sweet smile and soft touch. I worry about him every day. I love and miss my babies very much.
We have a new deputy today, I really like her too. She’s like the evening deputy. She doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap. She also splits the morning and afternoon time between the tiers. This is the best way to do it. It’s less time out of the cell at once, but you get morning and afternoon time. It’s a real nice break from being in lockdown for 10 straight hours plus. It was wonderful, we got an hour and thirty minutes in the am and an hour and 15 minutes in the pm. I wish all the deputies would split the time like that. But, some deputies are better than others. Some have much more experience. It really shows. It’s the deputies that can’t handle it that keep us on lockdown so they don’t have to deal with us. Today’s deputy, she can handle it and I respect that. Today she did cell checks. 13 cells were in violation for putting pads on the vents. It is very cold in here, so the girls put pads on the vents to block the cold air. 2 cells were in violation for graffiti in their cells and 3 cells were in violation for using their toilet as a trashcan and clogging them. I guess some inmates clog the toilets on purpose to get out during lockdown. I guess desperation will cause you to do that. I heard someone stuffed and flushed an entire grocery bag last month. The plumbers were in and out all day. While they were fixing the toilet, the girls got to be outside. After lunch we were notified of the violations and it would be up to the sergeant if we would be in lockdown the rest of the day. We waited to hear. Finally, lucky for us, only those in violation had lockdown. It was a relief not to suffer at the expense of dumb actions by others. The 13 cells in violation were in lockdown the rest of the day. No afternoon time, dinner in their cells, no evening time, and they all got write ups. I just don’t understand most of these women. I don’t fit in here at all, which is fine by me. I don’t want to fit in here or ever get comfortable. I don’t plan on ever coming back after my stay. I keep to myself and no one bothers me. I like it that way. You can’t sit, read, or watch tv without hearing the BS and drama around you. I feel like I am in junior high with all the cliques, bullies, mean girls, and trash talk. It’s ridiculous. If I had to describe jail (I technically am in jail at this point. Prison will come when I’m done with Holding) in one sentence. I’d say I was junior high with very mean teachers. I wanted to get out of here and help women find jobs and better themselves. I don’t think you could help some of these women. Some don’t want it and some don’t deserve it. I would just need to focus on the one that do want help and remember that there are good people in here.